Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Review: White House Plumbers

I am conflicted about White House Plumbers. Yes, I enjoyed it immensely. Should I have? It was a little problematic.

It is terrifying to think that the government could be taken down by male frailty, but that's the premise of the show. Liddy and Hunt are overgrown adolescents driven by vanity, so starved for praise at work they concoct the scheme to bug the DNC. They try again and again out of self-delusion and arrogance until they get caught. 

At some point I wondered, "What would I think if the genders were reversed and these characters were women reduced to caricatures, satirized?" Nope. Would not like, would not recommend. 

Perhaps this past summer's libido nonsense has made me more sympathetic to men. Dunno. And maybe there's a little discomfort with mining the long national nightmare for comedy, like with The Producers. But how can fifty years can be "Too Soon"?

Oh, if you do watch it (HBO), be sure to read the end cards that flip by on the last two episodes.

Weekly Paint Progress: 9/28

This week Basic Shapes went from this:

... to this.

Review: In Flight

New Barenaked Ladies Album! You know I'm all about the lyrics. Here are my favorite lyrics from each song. 

Lovin' Life
On the best of days there'll be joy and pain

One Night
You're right in front of me, I got a melody / If you got a malady, I got the remedy

Enough Time
Time makes the lemons lose their zest

What Do We Need?
Over and over and over again / I leave my family to be with my friends
Older, I'm older, I'm older again / I love it more than anything, but please make it end

Just Wait
I won't scramble my words, not this time

Waning Moon
The mistake you made was /Having seen the breakthrough that would take you

Fifty for a While
I get the drift if it's real loud

Too Old
It's just a little white lie from a little white guy

See the Tower
It's a Jagged Pill to swallow whole

Wake Up
You hold it down when I'm not around

Clearly Lost
It hadn't knocked my head clean off, but I was sure concussed

The Dream Hotel
And they've built a giant wall of pancakes in the park

I Am Asking You To
No one as loved as you are should not feel loved enough

The Peace Lady
Though I remember the cheer girl and the bike thief man / I vote for the peace lady whenever I can

I think after a few listens that Fifty for a While, Too Old, and I Am Asking You To will be my favorites, given they are about being old or your relationship growing old.

Anxiety: Warning Signs

TeddyJ sent out a test blast of their cell phone text alert system. The only time in fifteen years that I have seen this system used was to tell us the work lockdown had begun. 

On October 4th, the government is testing their wireless alert system as well. 

And wastewater shows the new ultra-mutated Covid is in ten states.

And then, during the latest visit for the clinical trial, I heard -- again -- that my respiratory rate is too high. The phone's been complaining about that since this past summer. This is the first time a human noticed. I was advised to exercise and breathe more slowly. Inhale, hold it, exhale, hold it. Four seconds each. 

But what came first? The anxiety? The rapid breathing? The rapid breathing that will increase my chances of catching Covid? 

I need a reset. 

Off My Feed

KC noted that Feedly isn't working (and, thank you, KC).

In my research I discovered that RSS Feed readers are outdated now. Who knew. Supposedly  everyone wants emails instead. I doubt this. I seriously doubt this. No one wants an email about my pelvic floor and my ensuing incontinence that may eventually require botox. No one would want an email about even one of those three things.

Anyway, I still followed the Typepad recommendation and signed up with Feedblitz as well, because they do RSS Feeds like we did back in the day, but you can do emails as well.

And then Typepad responded to my query with:

"We are currently experiencing an issue with feeds not being reachable by outside services, including feed readers like Feedly. Even if you don't use FeedBlitz, the feed should still update in Feedly if everything is working correctly. However, it is not. As soon as we are able to resolve the issue, you will start seeing the latest posts in Feedly."

(I really like the "However, it is not." Style points for that, whatever AI wrote this response.)

Until things are fixed, my 20 Feedly users, come here directly. (That is, if you like. You aren't missing much lately). 

Weekly Paint Progress: 9/21

This week the Basic Shapes went from this:

... to this.

Breaking Bear News

I was going to report on the urologist, but then A BEAR WENT TO DISNEYWORLD.

She climbed a tree right in the middle. Searching for food. How are there no photos? I want to see the bear in the tree snacking on a Mickey Waffle of some other expensive WDW food. 

Area Code

Did you know there’s a 666 area code? Text messages for the clinical trial use that area code. 

How should I add them to my contacts?

• Satan
• The Beast
• AntiChrist

TWIL: Cans of Worms

7:05 am. I am mentally rehearsing a touchy work conversation. In my imaginary apology, I use the term "can of worms."

7:06 am. "Alexa, what is the origin of the term 'can of worms'?"

Alexa: "Here is what I found: The exact origin of the phrase is not completely known, but general consensus traces it back to the 1950s in the United States and literal cans of worms."

Off to the internet for a photo. You can find one here, courtesy of the BBC and this article.

(Evidently in Britain even the worms are cultured. The lid says so.) 

Weekly Paint Progress: 9/14

This week the Basic Shapes went from this:

... to this.

I am breaking my promise to avoid Photoshop, but just for the cylinder.

 

TWIL: the Real-life Trolley Problem

The hook: I needed to look up The Trolley Problem. (Go to that link if you are unfamiliar with the Trolley Problem, or better, find the episode of The Good Place about the Trolley Problem.)

What I learned: DID YOU KNOW someone simulated the trolley problem on actual people? No lie, he put people in that situation and then watched to see what they'd do, either a) let five people die or b) make one person die. 

It's disturbing in that no one really seems to be experiencing an ethical dilemma. 

 

Weekly Paint Progress: 9/7

This week I started on a croquet ball in a recumbent latex glove mold. (What shall I call it? Return to Basic Shapes? Unambiguous Easy Colors? Eschewing Photoshop?)

 

TWIL: Probiotics

So the doctor at the urgent care clinic said, "If you do end up having a bladder infection after we do this culture test, you'll take an antibiotic, but be sure you take probiotics with it."

"Probiotics? With Antibiotics?" I said, thinking, wouldn't they cancel each other out?

"Yes," the doctor said, "Because if you don't, you run the risk of getting C. diff."

I recoiled. Even though I am mentally prepared that if I get C. diff I am offering myself up for the fecal transplant day one, because that's the only thing that's ever cured it in any of the cases I know about.

I have never heard of this before, but I think that's because this doctor was thinking of prescribing an antibiotic I don't usually get. And that's all my fault, because when the Nurse Practitioner asked if I had any allergies, she didn't say drug allergies, and I thought food allergies. 

So really, what I learned this week is that some doctors recommend probiotics with antibiotics, and that even though your regular doctor is 30 minutes further away go there because they know your sulfa and penicillin DRUG allergies without asking, and that even if you feel like you have a bladder infection you might not.

Weekly Paint Progress: 8/31

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

… when he was originally this:

Why is his head so tiny in the original? More foreshortening I guess. 

Next week it's live images, nothing to aim for,

What is Wrong with This Picture?

I'm sorry, but there's something very uncanny valley about this mug shot.

• The marionette line is odd.
• His jacket looks like something a Sim would wear.
• The light's coming from the right? Why wouldn't they have a light shining directly at his face for a mug shot?
• His chin looks like it's made of vectors. 
• He was a president once, somehow.

Weekly Paint Progress: 8/24

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

I am done with it. Parts I like, parts I don't. 

Contractors

I have heard horror stories about contractors. People will say contractors start a job, demolition happens, contractors don't come back for a year.

My building company (or rather my Building Arts company) came out last December, I paid the deposit, I upgraded the specs, and heard the renovation would be scheduled for spring. Since then I have heard from them once at the beginning of summer to tell me I have a new project manager. And he said the work would happen in late August.

Not heard a peep from the company since. I mean, I'm happy they didn't rip out the back door and then ignore me in favor of more profitable work in Ladue or Clayton. 

I hate to think I would have to be a squeaky wheel, especially considering that I'd be going up against Clayton and Ladue-level squeaky wheels. Could I even do that? Really, I could not even try to reach that level of bitchiness.

Has anyone ever had success getting a contractor to get off the ball?

Weekly Paint Progress: 8/17

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

There are two reasons this looks odd:

1. The shirt and the face are still black and white.
2. The elbow on the left makes a junction of three intersecting lines.
3. Not enough contrast above the shoulders and too much by the tree.
4. I have no idea how to work with color.

I can fix some of it.

Weekly Paint Progress: 8/10

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

I can paint whatever color I want. Even a strange blue green that no grass has ever been.

TWIL: Lacks Settlement

I know only the thinnest of details. Only the synopsis of the story of Henrietta Lacks. I tried to read the book, but I didn't get very far. I knew it didn't have a happy ending.

I might have to try again, because this week I learned that the Lacks family is being compensated in some way for stealing her cells. 

Way past time. 

Weekly Paint Progress: 8/3

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

His face got pretty overworked. I should have stopped and let part of it dry, but I got excited. It looks like Gary now.

But why is there a tiny white dot on his crotch? And what is that light area over his shoulder. That might have to become a bush.

TWIL: Cough Drops

How long have I been using Halls cherry cough drops? Decades? 

This week I learned they have inspiring mottoes on the paper.

On further research I find that people take umbrage because the mottoes seem to encourage you to get back to work. "March forward" is the only one with a pro-work message on mine.

I checked another and it told me to push on, to be unstoppable, and inspire envy. 

So cough drops now sound like my Dad. Next they'll say, "If you're too sick to go to school you're too sick to have fun."

Weed of the Summer

Every summer one weed reigns supreme. Some are easy to pull up (chickweed), others are stubborn (those outrageously tough tall things that start with "A").

This summer it's easy. It's whatever this nonsense is.

I fear it may be Missouri Ironweed, and the best way to tell would be to let it run rampant and see if there are showy purple flowers later. 

Then of course it would be established in the yard and never go away. Missouri gardeners, let me know.

Foxes in Love

It's not often the male and female foxes feed together. One's usually on the lookout. But this couple is on a date, and the video runs out just when they almost kiss. 

 

Weekly Paint Progress: 7/27

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

Eyes have shifted, mouth is too busy. Could be worse.

TWIL: Organization

So this is the virus that's been keeping me at home. It gives your kids croup in their tiny windpipes, it gives me this wheezy cough. 

From Healthline and confirmed by the CDC:

"HPIV-1 is generally responsible for outbreaks of croup in the fall. In the United States, the outbreaks tend to be more widespread in odd-numbered years."

And to that I said, "Wait ... what now?" I get that it starts in the fall, same as the flu, because the air isn't humid and virus can last longer in the air, and then in the fall the kids get together in school and spread it, but how is the virus organized enough to know what the current year is, much less odd or even?

(Wags at work suggested the virus uses Mural to stay organized.)

Lost Less Moist? Snail Mucin One Week In.

Last week my right cheek looked like this:

After a week of snail mucin, the right side ... looks exactly the same.

Perhaps the visuals aren't evident yet, but I noticed that to the touch the early effects were dramatic. Then, as the week went on, there seemed to be less difference. Does one build up a tolerance to snail? 

On a related note, is it possible that both sides are now equally moist and that's why there's no difference? Perhaps the croup amped up my personal mucus reserves and now adding snail mucus is just buttering the croissant.

Weekly Paint Progress: 7/20

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

AI Doctors

Much has been said about having Artificial Intelligence take over doctor diagnosis duties.

I don't like this idea at all.  Takes all the mystery out of being sick. Plus, you'd still have the issue when you aren't sick enough to be diagnosed, but still sick enough for minor symptoms. What does the AI doctor say then? "Your constipation could be indicative of: " followed by an eight page list. 

I know what would happen with people like me. The AI would be too thorough, and tell me I had a 99% chance of having gallbladder disease and a 12% chance of having some rare enzyme disorder and I would start treating myself for the enzyme disorder.

Also, shows like Mystery Diagnosis would be very short. First fifteen minutes: big setup, then boop boop boop, here's your rare enzyme disorder. 

Plus, every big diagnosis I've had? Doctor looks at me and knows what's wrong.  

TWIL: Cough Syrup

I went through an entire bottle of cough syrup yesterday.

I did the math (well, Alexa did the math) and that's 1,422 calories. 

That's on top of my usual trough of food. This cough better ease up soon.

Review! Snail Mucin!

The bottle says it all.

"Being 96% Snail Secretion Filtrate (Mucin), this essence helps the skin to lose less moist whike keeping the skin smooth and healthy."

I like to lose less moist, so I tried it on my cheek.

BEFORE!

ONE MINUTE AFTER!

It made like a little film over my face, so I could indeed lose less moist. If I didn't know it was snail snot I would have mentioned its toning and firming properties, but instead I can say I do feel like a snail has crawled along my face and left behind a trail of the special ass adhesive they use to climb up aquariums.  

It does burn just a tiny tiny bit. It did seem to darken my red blotch. 

Definitely worth a week's application to the right side of my face. Check back next Friday to see if I have indeed lost less moist.

Weekly Paint Progress: 7/13

This week Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this:

 

This Is On The Way at Snail Speed!

Prime Day.

Snail Mucin.

Snail snot? Had to have it.

A little bit of me wishes it had been tested on animals.

Review: Asteroid City

The new Wes Anderson movie, Asteroid City, is so quirky it's like a parody of a Wes Anderson movie. 

Happily, it isn't quirk for quirk's sake. There's a plot, and it's very very humorous. Also, there's a movie inside of a play, and the palette is more orange than pink, so that's a departure. 

It's all about grieving, and the grieving is the worst and the best part. (Specifically, the three grieving little girls and their Tupperware make up the best part.)

I think it's my favorite Wes Anderson movie so far. 

TWIL: Mammogram Hack

The hook: I was disrobing in preparation for my mammogram.

The technician began to explain that now, I needed to slip my right arm out of the gown, and leave my left arm in.

I stood up and dropped the gown in the chair. "Wouldn't it be faster if I just leave the gown off entirely?"

And it was. No modesty nonsense. Slap that here, lean in there, peel your own boob off the machine. Fastest mammogram I have ever had.

Weekly Paint Progress: 7/6

This week I corrected the Hunky Gary sketch. Hunky Gary went from this:

... to this.

 

 

TWIL: Dental Term

The Hook: the dentist referred to my "virgin" tooth.

So now I know. A virgin tooth is a tooth that has had no work done on it.

Sad to say, he'll be deflowering my virgin tooth in July.

Science Girl Reviews Products That Are Not Sex Toys

Now that I am 60 (going on 20), I have tried some new skin-care products. About four. Two were effective. The others promise effects in two months. Hmph. 

The two that worked were:

Exfoliant. The sugar scrub that I used for a year only worked for a day. After that I would have even more skin to scrub off. The Kate Somerville ExfoliKate (cute) Scrub seems to take off the dead skin and leave it off for a week. And at only once a week, I can justify the price.

Face Pack. I am sure I could whisk together egg whites and Elmer's glue and get the same effect I get with SKIN1004 Zombie Pack, but it would be messy. It is the best wattle-shrinking product out there. 

See? I'm still a woman. Today, anyway.

Weekly Paint Progress: 6/29

I was at the dentist today, and showed them my recently rediscovered photo of 1983 Gary. (And yes, then I made a guttural noise.) I haven't done anything in the Venetian style for a while, where you make a black and white painting and then glaze the top layer with color.

This seemed like a good subject. I have no colors in the photo for reference, but maybe that's where it will get loose.

Here we go.

 

TWIL: Color Vision

The hook: a report on BBC news.

This week I learned that when you are running out of oxygen, the first thing that happens is you lose your sense of color vision.

This is a screen grab of the expert telling me that factoid, not an example of you losing your color vision.

So I suppose everything turns black and white. Scary.