Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Cracker Barrel Redux

Remember how GrubHub forgot the hashbrown casserole from our order and I ended up getting an insane amount of food for free?

Since then all we want to eat is Cracker Barrel hashbrown casserole. Perhaps that is the business model: leave something out, play hard-to-get. Our desire overrode our liberal hatred of Cracker Barrel.  It even overrode Gary's past Cracker Barrel experience.  "At least they aren't sex traffickers," we rationalized. So we submitted a very hashbrown-centric order, and they did not forget the hashbrowns, therefore I give you:

Hashbrown* Throwdown!

*First, the term 'hashbrown' here means shredded hashbrowns, not some ersatz fried potato cubes.

Second, evidently this restaurant chain did not use the Typepad editor to make their menu. Typepad's spell-check keeps insisting Hashbrown is two words. I know, you are amused I pretend to care about spell-checks or proofreading. I will balance the scales by calling this restaurant "Crackerbarrel."

Clockwise from top right:

• Regular Hashbrown Casserole
• Loaded Hashbrown Casserole Tots
• Loaded Regular Hashbrown Casserole

Regular Hashbrown Casserole -  Hashbrowns in which Crackerbarrel trades the crispy potato bits for some extra creamy white sauce. This is a devil's bargain. More on this later.

Loaded Hashbrown Casserole Tots - Crackerbarrel describes this as "Our Hashbrown Casserole fried into crispy bite-sized tater tots" and I call bullshit. You can see for yourself, they began life as tater tots, they taste nothing like the hashbrown casserole: the potato taste is entirely different. 

Loaded Regular Hashbrown Casserole - Here they take the creamy casserole and add the crispy bits back in the form of deep-fried shoestring onions, the only possible upgrade from the crispy edges of hashbrowns. They also added cheese and bacon, and while green onions were also promised I could not see them. (I did not ask for a refund.)

Clearly, the final incarnation, the Loaded Regular Hashbrown casserole, won the throwdown hands down. 

Weekly Paint Progress: 1/13

A friend has been posting on Facebook a number of floral photos. This one appeals to me:

Doesn't look too appealing right now:

Need to do that white pitcher again, don't I. And the green pitcher spout.

It's a lot like the last one, but I like the idea of reinforcing the next few weeks.

 

Stocky Fox

I looked at a recent video of a fox in the backyard, and I thought, damn, our fox got fat. Like, carrying an extra ten pounds of Christmas weight. I almost didn't recognize him.

On further review, though, this appears to be average weight for a red fox (below). I think I've just seen very hungry red foxes so far. 

The next night, I saw another fox I didn't even recognize as a fox at all. This guy below is a grey fox.

Slimmer, shorter face, striped tail, grey legs with no black stockings.

Gary researched the grey fox and claims it can climb trees like a cat. I don't know how to make that happen.

Covid Conspiracy

Gary's been complaining that the road to the SuperBowl has been chaotic this year because of Covid. A team headed to the SuperBowl will find half  the team is out with Covid. Chaos ensues and no doubt digs in to the pockets of the NFL, the players, the gamblers, et al.

If I were an NFL coach, I would find a way to pump Covid air into the locker room of the opposing team, or infect the waiters at the team hotel. Or give the player's relative's Covid so they're distracted, like the case of the Texas Cheerleader's mom.

With the money at stake I really suspect that's happening.

A Message to the Community from the Big Hospital System

Last week we ALL got this remarkable email from the big hospital system, Barnes-Jewish-Christian.

It was titled Message to the Community from BJC HealthCare and Washington University and I paraphrase it below.

============

Blah blah, we have important information to tell you

• • If you need to get a Covid test so you can travel, and you have no symptoms, don't come here.
  • If you need to get a Covid test and you do have symptoms, don't come here.
  • If you aren't an emergency case, don't come here. 
  • If you are a grown-up and you need a non-urgent procedure or surgery, don't come here.
  • Are you a baby? We aren't cutting off the babies. Babies are welcome.
  • If you come here and you are an adult, you get one visitor. (Babies get more.)

If You're Not Yet Vaccinated, It's Not Too Late

[Five bullets that say "Get a Vaccine!" in various ways.]

We Can Pull Through This Together

 

[Another bullet that says "Get a Vaccine" plus wash your hands, wear a mask, keep away from people.]

==================

First off, wow, some serious baby-pandering there.

 

Second, this email went out to people who gave their email address to a doctor. I'm pretty sure the anti-vax people don't visit doctors much less give out their email. 

Third, I think this means that I am not getting my thyroid test next month.

 

Weekly Paint Progress: 1/6

This week the Ball pitcher went from this: 

... to this:

... when it was originally this: 

I know there are still a lot of problems (and it's obvious I simplified it a lot) but I think the things that are right outnumber the things that are wrong.

Still, Pleased with the Chair

Here's an update from Snopes on how people became convinced Wayfair was trafficking children. It's kind of hilarious. Someone after my own heart exaggerated something.

I do like the Wayfair chair, partly because they were so agreeable about taking off the charge because of the scratch and my mistake about the casters.

On a related note, I discovered that GrubHub has the same business model as Wayfair: you complain and they erase the charges from your credit card. I wasn't complaining about the food, I was complaining about the fact a tiny side dish was missing from the big family-sized buffet I ordered, and boom, fifty bucks worth of food became fifty bucks worth of free food becuase they left off a three dollar side. Still don't get this.

Not going to jump from there to "Grub-hub are sex-traffickers," though.

2021: In Review

Time for the yearly review, when I tell you about all the fun I've had all year. Or more recently, I tally up the ceaseless, joyless, parade of events that add up to zero-sum days of meaningless survival. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Pandemic

At the beginning of the year I was being bumped further down the vaccine list until I finally got a vaccine a mere week earlier than the healthy hoi polloi. At the end of the year I first heard that I might get monoclonal antibodies, and I was excited. Since then everything changed: true, I'll be getting the AstraZeneca monoclonal antibodies, a six month dose to give me immunity ... just as soon as they make it, six months from now.

Creative Pursuits: The Bathroom

After years of stasis, the medical bathroom collection grew. I acquired some cute little brain soaps, then bigger, better brain soaps, and then the small brains moved to a wee little brain pan. (Speaking of wee little things, say hello to my little friend, the teeny speculum.) From the smallest to the largest: the largest thing in the bathroom is now the new chart of epithelial cells. 

 Creative Pursuits: The Novel

It started with bits of index cards and tiny magnets, and now it's a first draft.

Creative Pursuits: The Paintings

This year I painted bologna peonies, the dog bank (again), boats, nude salt shakers, a pansy, cliffs, birdbaths, sundials, a buffalo , and rounding out the year where I started, a pitcher of peonies.

Purchases 

When the Mini Cooper got sick, we bought a new Electric Mini that I still haven't tried to parallel park.

Amusements

None. No movies out, no concerts, no opera, and due to other obligations no Steven Page Zoom concerts, and of course no vacation.  However, I do have one night a week I watch streaming shows with a friend, and I can recommend Baking Impossible. 

You know it's been a bad year when I haven't searched for any of the year-end review specials. That said, I enjoyed Death to 2020 on Netflix last year. Perhaps they'll do that again. (Later: Ooo! They did. Not as enjoyable.)

Ugh, 2021, second verse same as the first. Good riddance to you.

Weekly Paint Progress: 12/30

This week the Ball pitcher went from this ...

... to this:

Some parts I preferred before. The new cartoon contrast nature of the handle is distracting. Plus the way the bottom peony is shaded now suggests it needs a stem. Oops.

Well, I'll patch up those problems and then the table needs a wash of black on top of the brown, and that will be that.

All I can say is that these peonies do not appear to be made of bologna like the ones from January.

Review: The Matrix Resurrections

Last night Gary said, "What movie do you want to watch?"

I answered, "I picked the last one."  (Being the Ricardo's, excellent, needed some more eyebrow pencil for her and Spanx for him.) "What do you want to watch?"

"The Matrix Resurrections," he said.

"Oh god, no. I hate those movies. They make no sense."

He wore me down, and people, they wrote this new Matrix movie for me. Me, and everyone else who hates the Matrix movies. No only does it make sense on its own, I feel if I went back and watched all the old Matrix movies that they might make sense now too.

Cunning and clever and clear. Add to that all the Binary/The One/Gender subtext, and I can recommend it.

Thermometer

So, I finally bought the fancy Kinsa crowdsourcing thermometer that Rachel Maddow recommended at the beginning of the pandemic. (No fear. I am fine if the Gubment watches my temperature for the Greater Good.) I promptly took my temperature, and a then few days later I got an email from a nurse.

See below.

---------------

HEADS UP

Hello!

Kinsa’s Nurse Blake here, writing to you from my living room in Colorado. I’m the clinician that writes all of the medical guidance you’ll see in your Kinsa app and in additional guidance emails. I’m writing to introduce myself so you aren’t alarmed if I reach out to you if someone in your household falls ill.

With two now-tween girls of my own and a background in a hospital NICU, pediatric and adult units, I’m all too familiar with the panic that sets in when a family member - especially a little one - is sick.

'Is this serious? Should I be worried? Is it safe to care for this from home, or should I talk to my doc or go to the hospital? What can I do to keep myself or my child comfortable?'

Your mind just spins and spins.

Think of Kinsa as a tiny nurse in your pocket, there to quiet the panic and answer these common questions.

If you take a feverish temperature or enter a symptom, you have age-specific medical guidance at your fingertips. All this medical guidance is vetted against the American Academy of Pediatrics / American Academy of Family Practice, then triple-checked by Kinsa's on-staff doctors.

To supplement the guidance you see in the app, I’ll likely also follow up with you via email with a more detailed care guide to keep you (or your little one) comfortable at home. 

While I don’t hope to speak to you anytime soon 😉 , if anyone in your household falls ill - I’m here for you!

--------------

I am FULLY freaked out. Am I reading this right? She'll be monitoring our temperatures? In case we get fevers? And then sending me an email? A stranger? I signed up to have my temperature crowdsourced. I didn't sign up for a FRIEND who says she'll be watching me AND MY CHILDREN.

Christmas Waffles

The Christmas traditions in my tiny family of two are limited to food. There were specific things we ate when Mom would come over for Christmas, buffets Mom set up when we went over there, and now that Mom's gone we have waffles on Christmas morning -- or we have the last two years.

I am gorging on all the Christmas food anyway (the Turkish Delight KC recommended for a Liberty Orchards is lovely) and I went up six pounds last week. Don't care. Christmas is Keto Rumspringa.

Bring on the waffles> Also, bring on the melted butter, maple syrup, and the GrubHub hamburgers planned for later this week.

In a Christmas miracle, I've been eating this way since Thanksgiving, and this week I lost three pounds.

Weekly Paint Progress: 12/23

This week the Ball pitcher went from this:

... to this:

I know, it looks like I'm going in the wrong direction, but I have a plan. A plan for three washes.

Domestic Mysteries Resolved

1. The desperate beeping is coming from the CO 2 detector, and it has been thrown out and a new one installed.
2. The KitchenAaid plate token came from this tiny cutting board that must have been in the washer, and the heat was high enough to melt the glue.

 

Weekly Paint Progress: 12/16

This week the Ball pitcher went from this:

... to this:

I knew this was going to happen: I get all fiddly with the background and reflections and now they compete with the foreground. Also, I need to lose the blue strip that goes up to the top, or else extend it to the edge of the closet door. Or make it the same shade of grey as the side of the molding. And the wallpaper reflections on the desk need to be smaller than the original. The leaf of the right flower needs to extend into the wallpaper. And then finally the flowers need more depth. Lots to do.

Weekly Paint Progress: 12/9

This week the Ball pitcher went from this:

... to this:

Oops. Should have taken off the scotch tape that's in there to give a straight line for the upper wallpaper. Also, I think the glass vase needs a white line on the right. I don't know why. I can't see it in the original photo, but it seems it should be there.

This Post Brought to You by the Letters Bird-Legs and P-Duel

I've been using DuoLingo to learn Russian (as you do). They do a really good job switching up the challenges so you are asked to interpret what you see, what you read, and what you hear.

• What You See: New nouns are introduced with an image of the noun, which feels like cheating. I try to ignore the image, for some reason. I don't know why I'm trying to make Russian more challenging. 
• What You Read: I fail consistently on interpreting what I read, not surprising given that when I read I think things like, "That starts with the L sound, so I should search for the answer that looks like it has bird legs in the beginning." (For those unfamiliar with Russian, Ls look like bird legs, F's look like two Ps standing back to back before a duel, and V's are Bs, and Zs are 3s.)

• What You Hear: First off, everything sounds as if it's being read by Ambassador Molari from Babylon 5, so it's all vaguely comical. Second, they made an effort to record each word in a flat affect so it can be plugged in to any spot in any sentence, except for one word: Ukraine. They throw a little emotion in to that word. Just a little touch of excitement, but next to all the other words it sounds like it's the name of the hot new Broadway show, Ukraine! Amerika, yawn, Ruzsia, yawn, and introducing uKRAYnnnn!

I understood exactly one word in the video below: Hello.

 

Weekly Paint Progress: 12/2

This week the Ball pitcher went from this:

... to this:

Why is that pitcher so damn hard to paint? 

 

In Which We Mock the Terrifying Power of the US Military

I was watching Fail Safe.  I rarely catch the start of this movie, so it was nice to see it on DVD. The ban on commentaries continues, so I had to go to IMDB, where I saw this trivia:

The US also declared DEFCON 2 at the start of the Gulf War in 1991. The stated sequence of colors is correct - blue, green, yellow, red. Omitted is white, DEFCON 1 - imminent and all but unavoidable nuclear war.

I was astonished - I'd lived through DEFCON 2? Was was I doing? How was I not even aware?

Reason 1: Well, I was in a theater on January 15, 1991, watching Edward Scissorhands after work with some friends. Oddly, before the movie the projectionist showed an image of the UN building accompanied by the national anthem. We commented that was weird, but guessed the theater owner was fond of the UN for some reason. NPR let me know we were at war on the drive home.

Reason 2: It all depends on what you mean by DEFCON 2: evidently it isn't a universal defense condition. The strategic command may be at one defense condition and the Army another. (It also depends on what you mean by 'Gulf War', the Internet seems sure it means Bush the Younger's Shock and Awe, not Bush the Elder's Desert Storm, but this interesting article from the 1991 Baltimore Sun plants it on  G.H.W. Bush.)

 Scary. By the way, 9/11? DEFCON 3.

Covid too Close to Home

For duration of the pandemic, my social circle hasn't been too touched by the Covid. One co-worker had an asymptotic case, and one co-worker I technically never met died, as did one good friend's close relation.

That was last year. Two weeks ago, two close friends got Covid from two different sources. Thankfully, they were both fully vaccinated, and both got monoclonal antibodies so they made it through. One person had left her bubble and her mask behind, but still kept six feet away from others. The other stayed in her bubble, but one outside visitor took down the entire bubble.

I know there's an uptick in cases, but two friends in one week? In response to the uptick, the authorities say everyone needs boosters. It seems so wrong, though, to have the US already getting boosters when entire countries haven't gotten over 10% vaccinated at all. And there are only 50% vaccinated world wide. 

This is not even close to being over, especially with the new variant, and on top of that it's getting closer to home. 

Weekly Paint Progress: Thanksgiving!

This week the Ball pitcher went from this:

... to this:

 

 

Review: That Hamilton Woman

I had a dim memory that I enjoyed watching Vivien Leigh in That Hamilton Woman, so I recommended to Gary that we watch it.

IMDB claims this was Stalin's favorite movie. (He gave it 5 hammers and sickles.) It was also Winston Churchill's favorite movie. (5 victory signs up.) I don't know why it was their favorite, unless they felt Lord Nelson was the star of the show. Laurence Olivier keeps being pecked apart by munitions until he dies, totally unconcerned with what will happen to his courtesan. 

(I had to check up in that, and it seems he actually plead with the English government that they would establish a fund for her upkeep in her later years. And of course, that's demented. I mean, "I know my wife won't give my lover any money after I die, so I want the government to take care of that.")

At any rate, Gary has nothing in common with Stalin or Churchill, and he kept up a running commentary that was so negative that I left the room just after Lady Hamilton meets Nelson's wife.

So, it was disappointing the second time around. However, I feel Stalin and Churchill's accounts might bear more significance than mine.

Fancy Stationery

I remember twenty years ago Mom bought herself some embossed monogrammed stationery, and did the same for me as a birthday gift. She made no comment on what it cost. 

I hoarded the last piece for twenty years, until the other day I used it for a thank-you note.  I tried to buy some more, and GOOD GOD is embossed stationery expensive. 

And it is strange, because there is no longer such a call for nice stationery -- and frankly, though mine was lovely, I am sure there is special elite stationery that has even higher status. I'm sure my Old Guard New England stationery would be superseded by QEII royal warrant stationery. 

[minutes later after researching even better brands]

Jesus and all the heavenly host, seven hundred and fifteen dollars for a box of 50 notecards? And it isn't even royal warrant stationery; it's from Gwyneth Paltrow Goop endorsed paper maker Sugar. 

Lord. That put me off. Made me realize that wanting the best is a fool's game. I will stick with the non-customized Amazon thank you cards I have in the drawer. 

Review: Kiss Me Deadly [SPOILERS]

I know Kiss Me Deadly is a 1955 classic. And yet, weird. I suppose I should say "innovative." But no, some of it is just weird. Weird beyond the suspension of disbelief. These weird things kept pulling me out of the snappy dialogue and interesting characters and gorgeous sets.

Weird Opening Credits. They roll the wrong way, scrolling from the top to the bottom. Think the intro to Star Wars only with credits.

Weird Chloris Leachman: In her first film role, Chloris Leachman rocks the short hair. I've only ever seen her in long hair roles: Phyllis Lindstrom, Frau Blucher. It's hard to identify her.

Weird Reactions to Mike Hammer's lack of sex appeal. So the filmmakers have this anti-hero, Mike Hammer, who is an ass, and you can tell the filmmakers are men because at least two women are introduced to Mike and immediately kiss him. (Not counting sympathetic whore/assistant Velda.)

Weird plot twist that was not in the book:  Introducing a Light Bulb in its first role as The Threat of Nuclear War. I spent the conclusion saying, "I don't think that's how radiation works."

Weird Ending. So [BIG SPOILER], the evil woman opens the box that contains the light bulb, and the radiation is released, and in the restored ending Mike Hammer and Velda stagger away to the beach, suggesting they survive. Which of course they don't, given that Mike had a radiation burn a few hours before, and Velda's going to die of cancer in a month, at best, if she everyone in LA isn't dead already. THE END.

Weekly Paint Progress: 11/18

This week the Ball pitcher went from this:

... to this:

 

Weekly Paint Progress: 11/11

This week the peony pitcher:

got started.

Photoshop makes it clear that flower is too tall and that vase is too wide. I'll be keeping the flower as is but shrinking the vase.

Fortune Favors the Brave

Twice last week I heard the phrase "Fortune favors the brave."

The first time was at work, when it was quoted by my great-grand boss to encourage us to ask questions. I responded by asking a very ill-advised question. Fortune did not favor me. (The grand-boss replied "What?" as if I were insane.)

The second time I heard it was for this commercial for cryptocurrency. Matt Damon thinks you should be 'brave' and invest in derivative money. 

I have mentioned before (yet somehow people still don't know) that the phrase was coined by Pliny the Elder, who said "Fortune favors the brave" as as a reason to go save people from a volcanic eruption, which promptly killed him. Pliny the Younger recounted this later, thus able to record his father's famous last words and then say, "Wow, we need a word for that, maybe something like 'ironic'."

Not a good reason to buy crypto currency or speak frankly to your great-grand-boss in either case.

Owl

Somehow in the years and years of filming the backyard we've never caught an owl before.

No idea what he was eating there in the bottom left corner. 

Weekly Paint Progress: 11/4

What to paint next? I was looking for prospects in my Photos. I considered taking another stab at the bologna peonies, using glazes this time  ...

... but then I came across this.

Not only peonies but the difficult Ball pitcher AND reflections in glass. Very tricky.

Weekly Paint Progress: 10/28

This week the Buffalo went from this:

... to this:

He was originally: 

I feel he is done. I made up a few things, and added some things I felt should have been there --even if they weren't. That  white / black line on his back is not representational but I like it.

He's still kind of floating a bit but I think I got too fussy at the top, so I didn't want to overdo the bottom too.

Weekly Paint Progress: 10/21

This week the Buffalo went from this:

... to this:

... and now I hate it. It needs more depth in the green. It's in the middle stage: I need to remember I hate the middle stage.

Shatner in Space

I have been through all the videos purporting to show Shatner in Space. 

Pressing nose to window? Check.

Being moved by the vulnerability of life? Check.

Experiencing weightlessness? Not so much.

He does not float. (Also, therefore, he is not a witch.)

I mean, I know he's ninety and not as agile and lightweight as the other passengers, but I'd  think one of the young folks could have stopped doing backflips to spot Captain Kirk, maybe. Pass him around over their heads maybe. 

Weekly Paint Progress: 10/14

This week the Buffalo went from this:

… to this:

He’s loose! I like him. He needs to be a little darker behind his armpit again.

Baseball

Well, last week the Cardinals were on the cusp of the playoffs, and then, ex-Cardinal Albert Pujols came up to bat as a pinch hitter in the bottom of the ninth inning, and everything fell apart.

You will notice I blame Pujols, not the unfortunate Cardinals pitcher swapped in moments earlier, who then almost immediately threw a walk-off home run to the Dodgers. You can watch it below.

So sure, we lost. But we lost with drama. The king can’t die from colitis, he has to die with his boots on, or assassinated, or gloriously usurped. This finish was so much better than if they’d been ahead of us by one run for five innings and then time ran out.

A friend had an even better attitude, he said “The Streak was my series.” I like that, the World Series is only seven games and The Streak was what, 17? Much better than a Series. 

 

 

Britney vs Her Father

Big news last week was that Britney Spears is “free” from the conservatorship her father controls.

People are compassionate. They empathize with Britney. They know how they’d feel in her situation. I empathize with her father. At least, I can see what’s motivating him. 

Let’s re-cast this. Let’s say it’s Bill Gates, drop-out, fresh out of his garage holding a floppy with MS-DOS, and he’s earned scads of money from his talent. Then he becomes seriously, self-admittedly, bipolar. (Symptom one: spending 30 million dollars to build a state-of-the 1990s-era mansion.)

Pretend that Bill’s parents become concerned because their son’s doing all the Bipolar Type 1 things: spending money recklessly, being paranoid, and especially, having random sex.

The random sex is a concern because, I swear, the Tinder scam artists target mentally ill people. “I can’t wait for our date” followed by, “I was on my way over and this police officer has arrested me for no reason and wants five grand to let me go, can you PayPal me?” 

Wouldn’t they need to look at Bill’s texts? Especially the ones that say, “Stop listening to your parents, marry me and I’ll make you happy. No pre-nup, though.” 

Someday I will have to turn off CNN when they are shocked to report Britney is penniless and in the hospital because she got in a fist fight with some random paramour whom she claims is a spy from Mars, and there was no conservatorship to save her from herself. They’ll probably say that the new situation is her father’s fault too. 

Speaking of fathers, I empathize with Britney’s kids, too. Being raised by someone more emotionally unstable than you are — when you are six — is not healthy. Britney is unhappy because she can’t be with her kids whenever she pleases. I’m glad she isn’t frustrated enough to cut off all contact in that situation, like Jerry did. Like mentally ill people do, sometimes.

Untreated mental illness jacks with your family enough without having media outlets come in and play one side over the other. 

I understand she’s still got someone providing some kind of conservatorship. I honestly hope someone is vetting her friends.

Weekly Paint Progress: 10/7

This week the Buffalo went from  this:

… to this:

The Vatican Top 45

The IMDb for The Lavender Hill Mob sent me to this most Eminent List, the High Holy List of the Vatican’s Most-Favored movies. 

The Vatican’s List of Top 45 Films is divided into three categories: Religion, Values, and Art.

RELIGION

• Andrei Rublev (1966)  … never heard of it in my state of sin 
• Babette's Feast (1987) … have heard of it, wanted to see it, never did. Sin of omission.
• Ben-Hur (1959) … overly loooooong. Good chariot race.
• The Flowers of St. Francis (1950) … never heard of it, cult film I suppose
• Francesco (1989)… never heard of it, must be Italian
• The Gospel According to St. Matthew (1966) … never heard of it, read the book
• La Passion de Notre Seigneur Jesus-Christ (1905) … never heard of it, French
• A Man for All Seasons (1966) … love this movie! Well, loved the play. Haven’t actually seen it.
• The Mission (1986) … the trailer for this scared me off in the 1980s.
• Monsieur Vincent (1947) … really no idea. Supposedly features the Black Death.
• Nazarin (1958) … never heard of it, but it’s a Vatican-approved satire? Intriguing.
• Ordet (1955) … this is not even a word.
• The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) … I think I’ve seen clips.
• The Sacrifice (1986) … another 1986 movie. Pope was up for the movies this year.
• Therese (1986) … that’s three movies from 1986. Was the Pope dating?

VALUES

• Au Revoir les Enfants (1988) … French!
• Bicycle Thieves (1949) … is this the sequel to The Bicycle Thief? Oh! It’s the same movie. Odd. 
• The Burmese Harp (1956) … Burmese!
• Chariots of Fire (1981) … I did see this, with, Mom, just out of high school.
• Dekalog (1988) … also not a word
• Dersu Uzala (1975) … a space alien word
• Gandhi (1982) … tried twice to watch this and gave up after an hour each time
• Intolerance (1916) … okay, I liked this one.
• It's a Wonderful Life (1946) … okay, everyone likes this one, except Mom, who could never make it past the scene with the lost money.
• On the Waterfront (1954) … another one I’ve given up on halfway through. Clearly the Pope is more patient than I. This makes sense.
• Rome, Open City (1945) … hometown favorite for the Pope.
• Schindler's List (1993) … you bet I liked it. Pope and I give it two thumbs up.
• The Seventh Seal (1957) … another Black Death movie.
• The Tree of Wooden Clogs (1978) … never heard of this either.
• Wild Strawberries (1957) … I think I had a perfume in junior high named Wild Strawberries.

ART

• Citizen Kane (1941) … what? Charles Foster Kane has an affair for half the movie. I guess that’s why this is in the Art category and not the Values category.
• 8½ (1963) … I confused this with 9 1/2 Weeks at first. Still, this is a Fellini movie. Unexpected.
• Fantasia (1940) … Sorcerer’s Apprentices! Film of the Devil!
• Grand Illusion (1937) … I begin to realize I have seen very few of these movies. I do not have the same taste as the pope.
• La Strada (1954) … another Fellini movie. Still unexpected.
• The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) … good choice, still a little fluffy for the Pope’s list.
• The Leopard (1963) … lukewarm reception in the US and prize-winning everywhere else. I never heard of this either. I live in a tighter bubble than the Pope.
• Little Women (1933) … is this the one with Katherine Hepburn as Jo? Good choice.
• Metropolis (1927) … I’ve seen the sexy outfit the robot woman wears. Surprising.
• Modern Times (1936) … I concur. We all love the Little Tramp.
• Napoleon (1927) … I wonder if this was before or after the big restoration of the movie.
• Nosferatu (1922) … what the hell. What. The. Hell.
• Stagecoach (1939) … should have watched it, no excuse.
• 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) … HATED it.
• The Wizard of Oz (1939) … the Pope sees your sorcerers and raises three witches! 

I should stop ragging on the pope, he may well have had his PR cardinal make this list. Still 45 movies and I’ve seen 11. Very low percentage. I am a bad Catholic. I need to watch 8 1/2 as penance.

Reviews: Lavender Hill Mob / M

The Lavender Hill Mob. Last week I watched the The Lavender Hill Mob, which I have often refused to see, thinking it was The Ladykillers, because I have only one neuron available for Alec Guinness movies beginning with L.

I didn’t guffaw all the way through, but I laughed often. The characters are very appealing, there is a ferry-catching scene any traveller will appreciate, and a young Audrey Hepburn has one line. The IMDB entry says the Bank of England helped to plot out the heist, which might explain why there is a giant plot hole around how the mob is caught. 

Now I need to watch The Man in the White Suit and Kind Hearts and Coronets, though I will have to watch that last one alone. (Gary cringes at men in drag.) 

Then, last night, we watched M. Wow. I’ve read about this movie but never seen it. Really remarkable direction for such an early movie. You’ll forget it’s from the 30’s, especially when you see the subject matter. About as far fro The Lavender Hill Mob as you can get.

LBJ Quote

I think with Covid we’ve got another variant on the LBJ quote about making the lowest white man feel superior to the best black man. 

Per Bill Moyers:

We were in Tennessee. During the motorcade, he spotted some ugly racial epithets scrawled on signs. Late that night in the hotel, when the local dignitaries had finished the last bottles of bourbon and branch water and departed, he started talking about those signs. “I’ll tell you what’s at the bottom of it,” he said. “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

And now with Covid we have the least educated man feeling superior to the most educated doctors and scientists. I wonder if they’re emptying their pockets too.

Weekly Paint Progress: 9/24

A few years ago I took this photo of a Buffalo.

Last week we had an exercise at work in which we had to spend 10 minutes doing something creative. The paints were out already so I slapped this out.

No one said “dog with horns.” They correctly identified it as a Buffalo.

I will spend more time on this one.