I got a call yesterday from the urgent care, saying that the pink pee culture came back as indeed a urinary tract infection.
Not a typical infection, though, a special one. For this one was not caused by errant e-coli bacteria trekking on their own across Vagina Valley into my urethra, (not being transported there by reckless wiping as everyone assumes). (Seriously, it's not me. They are there already. I just have more at any one time because it takes me longer to pee them out.)
So, no e-coli to blame today. Instead, today's bacteria is Proteus mirabilis, an entirely different bug. And it has the enchanting name of "Proteus", the shape-shifting sea god, and "mirabilis" from the Latin meaning wonderful or surprising.
- It swims fast because of its many legs. ("Thousands of flagella!") I told you, I’d never had an infection move so fast from pain to pink pee.
- It "swarms," which sounds like the bacterial equivalent of murmuration.
- It draws bulls-eye patterns when you put it in a Petri dish.
- According to Gary’s research, you can eat something contaminated wth Proteus mirabilis and it will make its way to the bladder top-down instead of bottom—up. (Or back to front for you wipe-shamers.)
You know what else is fun? My particular strain is resistant to the antibiotic I have been using. (My bladder, which had been improvimg, heard that and spat out blood not an hour later.) And even more fun? They prescribed Cipro for it, as it is my only option what with the penicillin allergy.
Yep, Cipro, Killer Cipro, Gary's least favorite antibiotic, recently on this blog in an entry that ended with "So, storing that away if anyone tries to kill me with Cipro, I guess."
I ended up talking it out with Gary, and I would be in danger if I were an athlete, but given I don't use my tendons all that much I should be safe.
Also? Was it worth it? Not quite so much any more.
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