Teeth

My teeth have always been dim, but I haven't especially cared. However, the older you get the dimmer your teeth become, and the thinner your hair gets, and if you didn't start out blessed in those categories to begin with, well, it can get disheartening.

Since I'm already committing appearance fraud with the wigs now, I thought I'd go ahead and try to perk up my teeth. (It's a slippery slope and then I get a boob job. )

I bought this device that includes an LED illuminated retainer that plugs into your iPhone that supposedly helps. 

Gary hates it, because the light bothers his migraine, so, I don't use it around him.

Sadly, he was alone in bed last night in a dark room with his migraine when he yelled,

"ELLEN COME IN HERE AND GET MY EYE MASK OFF THE TABLE SO I DON'T HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED AND WALK ACROSS THE ROOM."

"Mwuh woom!" I said, because I had this tooth thing in, but then I just pursed my lips over my glowing mouth and walked into his pitch dark room. 

I started to grope around for the mask. Then I realized my back was to him, and I cupped my hands as if I was about to yodel, and smiled my biggest smile. Suddenly I could see everything. Human flashlight. Very handy.

Comments

[PH]

Ha ha ha, human flashlight, very funny! Great visual too!

[theQueen]

PH - I looked for photos online and discovered, sadly, this company was sued because their product did not live up to advertised promises. So even if I finish the 21 days of and have the same teeth, at least I got a blog post out of it.

[Big Dot]

Haha. Very funny. And is it working for you at all?

[Common Household Mom]

This has got to be the best story emanating from dental devices! Human flashlight, from the mouth!

[theQueen]

Big Dot - Well, yes, but a lot of that might just be that I have temporary blindness from the blue light and I can't evaluate colors accurately.
Common H Mom - I feel like the Chernobyl nuclear plant with the beam of neon light shooting up from the center.