Relationship

I was talking to a group of people, and one asked how Gary was feeling.

I answered, "This morning he said he felt okay. I told him that was the first positive thing he'd said about his health in a year and a half." 

The questioner asked if my intent was to make sure Gary just never spoke to me again.

I answered, "We tell each other the truth. Am I supposed to lie to him, or manipulate him?" 

The topic changed immediately. And that was too bad, because I wanted to pursue what the "right" response should have been. I suppose, "Oh, Gary, I'm so happy to hear you're okay today. You've had such a hard time lately." All about him, none of my perspective, maybe?

I wondered if I was falling down as a wife. Maybe I could be less brutal. So, I started to repeat the exchange above to Gary, because I was going to ask if he'd have preferred a gentler tone.

I just got past, "are you trying to make sure he never speaks to you again," when Gary exploded with:

"THAT person does NOT understand OUR RELATIONSHIP."

So that was nice. Brutal insults. Our relationship. Whatever works. 

Comments

[KC]

Some people do just do better with Extremely Direct Communication; it saves a lot of effort and second-guessing.

That said, *most* people do better with at least a thin, lubricating layer of tact, at least on some topics. But if it ain't broke...

[theQueen]

KC - I don't think Gary or I have the patience for tact.