Daydream

When I was in junior high I filled my head with daydreams: impossible fantasies about fame and love and wealth and discovering I had been switched at birth away from my real family who were people who could have civil conversations with each other. 

I remember one of many quiet car trips with just my Dad, and it made me wonder what he was thinking about while we drove miles in complete silence.

I asked, "What do you think about when you aren't talking? Do you daydream?"

(I did not use the word "fantasize", because I had no idea what fills a man's mind, as I was not yet 60 years old.)

He just laughed at me, and said he had no need to daydream because he already had everything he wanted. 

All through adulthood I would always lull myself to sleep with a daydream, and then for a while I would lull myself to sleep by winning arguments in my head, and lately it seems my favorite bed-time occupation is to replay old conversations.

I have an excellent stockpile of re-runs, sorted by genre. I recently encountered a trivia partner I hadn't seen in ten years and said "Oh, you're the person who knew they invented the vacuum cleaner out of a box and a fan." And how did I know that? I have lulled myself to sleep with that trivia match many a time.

So that makes me wonder, have I become my Dad, and turned the corner from daydreaming about what I want into having nothing to dream about? Do we all do this as we age? Or do we just give up on dreams? 

Comments

[KC]

There is some Familial Evidence that daydreaming does not necessarily go away after age 70. That said, it may depend 1. how credulous you are [dreaming about things that are on the probability level of winning the lottery] and 2. how depressing you find it to dream about things that probably won't happen vs. 3. how much you're fine with just Thinking About Nice Things even if you are definitely not going to do/have these particular nice things.

For instance, some people can furnish entire new houses [or gardens, or wardrobes] in their heads via daydream and not be made dissatisfied with their own; other people get mad. Some people can dream up a stunning around-the-world vacation and still be *totally* happy with the one-state-over road trip. (... admittedly, the knowledge of how jet lag makes you feel, how much you like your own bed and how little your back likes *other* beds, the transit times, and that you don't *actually* enjoy being, for more than an hour or two, in places where you can't understand a word of what's going on can provide a useful distance)

But I'd expect "someday I'll..." dreams - dreams where the enjoyment is tied closely to *really thinking you might do that* - that become unlikely would lose their appeal. Probably?

Yay for reruns of trivia matches, though! This is a glorious thing.

[theQueen]

KC - you said familial evidence, and I do believe that when Mom planned her capers (putting a Santa mannequin on the neighbors outside commode, wearing a temporary tattoo) that she must have daydreamed about the reactions. So there's one. I can see doing that.

[KC]

Those are excellent capers!!!

One, one daydream category, muahahahahaaaa...

[TheQueen]

KC -Mom loved a caper.