So I woke up Sunday to Gary complaining about the microwave and how it was GOING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN ELLEN.
"No, it is not --"
"IT IS TWENTY YEARS OLD.”
And that's when I realized what Gary's "problem" with the microwave is. It's not what the microwave does or doesn't do, it's what the microwave is. It's an old microwave. It's not 70 year old microwave, like Gary, or a 62 year old microwave, like me, or 20 year old microwave like he claimed, but it is at least sixteen years old.
"Well," I thought, "There probably have been some technological microwave advances in the past sixteen years." And then I found a combo microwave-air fryer-convection oven that did three times the work but only cost twice as much.
I showed it to Gary, who gasped, "That's exactly the one I wanted!" So there you go, his fire concerns were all a scheme to turn me against our aged yet faithful microwave. So I called Williams-Sonoma to put one aside for me.
When I arrived I found Gary isn't the only man lusting over this three-way microwave. The woman at the register said, “It’s a good thing you called. This was the last one. A man brought his wife back with him to see if she’d like it and I had to tell him you had snagged it. He wanted me to call if you didn’t come pick it up.”
So, sorry fella, my husband gets to paw at the microwave you wanted "for your wife." Shoulda put a ring on it, as they say.
I am a strong fan of "when microwaves glitch, throw them out" but I will happily use a 40 year old microwave if it's functioning in a non-alarming manner. 20 years? COME ON.
I did not know that kitchen tech was finally being marketed aggressively to men, but apparently it works? Sigh.
Posted by: KC | January 13, 2025 at 12:32 PM
KC - the "Glitch" is suspect. Gary might have just not turned the microwave on.
Posted by: theQueen | January 13, 2025 at 06:50 PM
Oooh, that sounds like a swoon-worthy microwave. I intensely dislike our new microwave, so much that I cannot write about it. We bought it in a hurry when our old one (a mere 9 years old) broke right before Thanksgiving, because the Common Household Husband was certain we could not make it through T-giving without one. I think we could have made it okay.
Posted by: CHM | January 14, 2025 at 05:07 PM
CHM - well, yes. I do know some people who spend much of Thanksgiving cycling food into and out of the microwave because food must either be in the cooking process or in the refrigerator, never in a resting state. But I don't get that rigorous. I mean, I was born before microwaves. We ate Thanksgiving. We survived.
Posted by: theQueen | January 14, 2025 at 05:14 PM