I read this fascinating article from the BBC analyzing why some people might not take compliments well. They feel the reason may be cultural.
"One study of Nigerian English speakers found that 94% of collected compliments were accepted, compared to 88% in a study of South Africans, 66% in a study of Americans, and 61% in a study of New Zealanders."
I remember one of my former bosses at TeddyJ gave me such high praise that it made me really uncomfortable. I told him that in the future I would only be accepting factual compliments, like "You met your deliverables 80% of the time" or "I heard no complaints from your co-workers this trimester."
(He actually did try, and finally hit the mark, and then stopped being my boss for other reasons, sad to say.)
I read in the article that Germans give fewer compliments, but the ones they give are more truthful. I would like that.
And, from what I read elsewhere, they love an understatement. Evidently, if a German likes the food you've provided, they say "This is edible."
THAT would be the perfect compliment for me. Factual and funny.
I started to think I needed to move to Germany, and then remembered that Gary is 25% German. Sadly, that German compliment gene must have been in the missing 75%. He spent so much time last night complimenting the quesadillas I made (admittedly from scratch) that I finally said, "It's the steroids. Everything tastes good when you are on steroids."
Seriously, though, it's a really good article. Lots of information on the consequences of compliments in children and the like.
... okay, gonna go read that now. I probably would not have except for the "Seriously, though, it's a really good article" which indicated that there's more in there than the bits of gold you sifted out for us.
Posted by: KC | October 13, 2024 at 10:46 AM
KC - well, I was interested in the topic, given that I have turned crafting slightly inappropriate work compliments into a hobby now.
Posted by: theQueen | October 13, 2024 at 01:08 PM