Tonteen

It occurs to me that I have won the family tonteen, in that I have outlived every single relative, and now I have all their stuff.

(I haven't done this deliberately. People just die young in my family. Jerry at 48, Dad at 52, Dave at 62, Mom at 71.)

I sold Mom's house in 2022, and now the sale of Dave's house is creeping forward. 

But now there is an annoying snag with the sale. He got a home improvement loan, and while the bank told me it was fully paid off, the same bank now says it was not. I'm not too worried about it, but for some reason after slogging through almost two years of this. 

It just takes so much out of me, selling a house. I don't know how other people do it so carelessly.

Comments

[KC]

I expect that:
1. houses without personal/family connections have less weight, but also
2. some people enjoy certain things as a puzzle or competition and other people experience the same thing as a Miserable Endless-Feeling Slog. (I think a solid chunk of that is probably mostly-immutable personality aspects, and then another chunk is how you approach the problem)

(I have never tried to sell a house. I'm pretty sure I'd hate it, though.)

[theQueen]

KC - I think someday selling my own house will be a joy, but selling other people's houses is just too emotional. As if they are looking on sorrowfully.

[KC]

I generally assume that if someone is dead, they have a larger perspective than when they were alive, and if they care about me, they don't want me to unnecessarily suffer, and if they don't care about me, then I should maybe not be bothered by what they might want now that they are dead (but also: who wants their beloved thing to guaranteeably rot through disuse instead of going to someone who can use it? not me! probably not them!).

Sometimes there's a visceral thing, though, that doesn't conform to those general concepts, and also I get attached to Stuff and to Places (contact with Stuff and Places brings up Feelings, and feeling welcome and loved is something I *really like*)(I only keep enough Bad Feeling Stuff to remind me of imperfections and be anti-total-nostalgia tools; mostly I only keep Good Feeling Stuff and also stuff I feel guilty getting rid of, either because I know it'll end up in the trash or because it's family heritage stuff, sigh, and having shifted on my views of whether I want any doilies from my great-grandma between age 20 and 40 [no to yes but only one thanks], I am mildly squeamish about giving up chances at things I may regret when I'm 60?).

.... ohhhh if I repainted a wall whose color/wallpaper they loved but is totally unsellable as-is, I would definitely feel badly, though, like I was disappointing/insulting them. Sigh. Maybe I'm closer to your emotional position than I thought.

[theQueen]

KC - See? At least with Dave's house his friends carted away most of the furniture for AA people who need it. Ancient doilies though - that would be hard to turn down.