I am here to tell you all about bladder Botox in the form of Frequently Asked Questions.
Does it really feel like menstrual cramps when they inject your bladder with the Botox?
Hahaha, no, not at all. Menstrual cramps are much much worse. This just felt like having a needle poked into your bladder.
They did say some people are in so much pain they have to use general anesthetic.
I mean, it wasn't fun. but the mild anesthetic they used was fine for me. I did say “Oooh” and perhaps “Ow, sorry,” and my bladder did try to shy away, and took my butt with it, but it was nowhere near general anesthetic level. They do say the next time is easier because you know what to expect.
How long did it take?
The needle-poking? Less than two minutes. It took long enough for the following conversation.
I said, “This won’t be as bad as an endometrial biopsy, right?” The doctor agreed that endometrial biopsies are the worst procedures, but the assistant argued that there’s a test where they fill up your uterus with fluid and then take photos, and you have to be having your period when they do it. Then the doctor added that there is a procedure in which your intestines are filled with barium, and then they give you an MRI while you defecate on yourself in the MRI machine. I said, well, the people having that procedure probably have no bowel control anyway, that’s why they’re there, and then he said, true, and okay, we're all done.
However, I did have trouble getting out of the office after it was over because mysterious fluids kept pouring out of me. Gels, anesthetic, maybe water, I don't know. I would clean up with the wipes the assistant pointed out, then go for my underwear, and then more fluid would exit my body.
Are there any side effects?
You do feel like you have a mild bladder infection, but as you know you can look sideways at me and my bladder gets infected.
Also, I need salt. I have consumed all of our salted nuts and salted crackers. I’m going to put salted butter on the next thing I eat and then sprinkle salt on it.
What else is there to know?
It doesn’t take effect for a week. That surprised me.
Okay. Anything else?
Epic pee queefs. EPIC.
Are you done?
I could complain about how Gary demanded I call the doctor and ask for a prescription for catheters in case I am one of the three percent who retain too much urine. But I wont.
If you're one of the 3 percent, presumably there is an ER available. Hope it works well! (and not *too* well!)
Posted by: KC | June 28, 2024 at 12:02 PM
KC - he truly said he would not drive me to the ER, but of course he would.
Posted by: theQueen | June 29, 2024 at 01:26 PM
Ambulances and Uber/Lyft-like things presumably also exist. But yes. I would at the very least strongly hope he would!
Posted by: KC | June 30, 2024 at 12:08 AM
KC - Well, I could drive myself to the ER. I do suspect that an Uber, Lyft, or taxi would hear the destination is a hospital and punt the passenger out of the vehicle immediately.
Posted by: theQueen | June 30, 2024 at 06:16 AM
I bet a lot of people use those to get to *appointments* or to go visit friends/relatives in the hospital but yes, outside of normal hours or "please drop me off at the ER"... you may well be right.
But also, useful that you could drive yourself even with a Bladder That Has Quit Letting Go! I wasn't sure how feasible/not that would be, with whatever level of distraction that provides.
Posted by: KC | July 01, 2024 at 11:14 AM
KC -Alexa says taxi drivers are obligated to take you to the ER. As for Uber/Lyft, per a 2018 article —
When it comes to medical emergencies, Lyft should not be used as a substitute for emergency transportation. People should be calling 911,” wrote a Lyft spokesperson. Similarly, Uber commented, “Uber is not a substitute for law enforcement of medical professionals. In the event of any medical emergency, we always encourage people to call 911.”
-/ but there are also many tales of babies born in Ubers and Lyfts
Posted by: TheQueen | July 01, 2024 at 07:54 PM