I looked in the Amazon delivery queue and saw Gary bought me a surprise gift.
FLAPPING G SPOT VIBRATOR FOR WOMEN “LAYLA” ADULT RABBIT SEX TOYS WITH 9 FLAPPING MODES 4 TICKLING MODES WATERPROOF CLITORALIS [sic] STIMULATOR FOR CLIT (sure) NIPPLE ('kay) ANAL (nope) STIMULATION RECHARGEABLE ADULT SEX TOYS
And then I looked at the photo and saw a vibrator designed by a committee.
If this were a horror movie that vibrator would whimper, "Kill me."
This is the silicone version of what would happen if a Bop-It and a Swiss army knife and Barney the dinosaur had a baby and it grew up to be a “CLITORALIS” ANAL STIMULATOR.
This isn’t really a review because, while I cycled through all the tickling and flapping modes, I haven't used it. It scares me. Especially the G-spot flapper. Picture a drum stick playing a relentless paradiddle on your bladder. Not your G-spot, your BLADDER. The only place I could see using this device is in the parking lot of the Urgent Care. I would get an infection even if I were bolstered by the preventative antibiotics.
I mean, it was reviewed well: maybe it is life-changing, but I don't think I can bring myself to even try it.
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