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March 29, 2023



I mean, yes, finding a thing you can do so that you feel *part* of the situation is under your control rather than it all just happening to you without any recourse... that is often helpful. For me, usually that is a "well, I've done what I can do, so at least whatever happens isn't going to be my fault" and yes, it's 99% irrational because 1. my tiny action is unlikely to change the outcomes significantly and also 2. people *will find a way to blame you* (or not to blame you) for disastrous outcomes, whether that's a tornado or gravel being poured on your car, so it's not fully escaping that fear, either.

But placebos can be good stuff sometimes. And sometimes your tiny actions really do make a difference, however minor. And having a tangible action to let things go with does... a thing... like a ritual does, in your head. (I know someone who has a hard time *throwing away* cards but if she puts each through a shredder, it's easy; it's her own action that is taken with each card and which makes her not feel guilty about throwing them away, even though a shredded card is... not being less thrown away?... than an unshredded card. But on the other hand, the shredded card is *definitely done* whereas you could always retrieve the unshredded cards until they actually go out in the recycling, so...I don't know. Human psychology is a weird mess of rational and irrational!


KC - the card makes sense to me. Here I am, holding a card too close to the shredder, whoops, the shredder got it.


What she was describing sounded less "oops" and more... uh... viking funeral-ish? Like, honoring an item by individually destroying it in a somewhat meditative and definitely deliberate manner.

But yeah, I could see "oops" working as well. :-)


KC - She could burn it in the Weber Barbecue. That's where I have my Viking funerals.

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