I thought I was dealing with Dave's death pretty well. My calorie intake bumped up because I was eating moderately instead of getting permission from MyFitnessPal. But then a few times a week I would eat really recklessly. It was binge eating.
The therapist encouraged me to log what I was eating and what happened before the binge.
Here are the comfort foods I turned to:
Buttered popcorn. It was just one night, Oscars night, and "Buttered popcorn" is not as accurate as "Popcorned butter." I went through a stick of butter and an insufficient number of bags of microwave diet popcorn. At the time I thought the catalyst was Oscars = movies = popcorn, but more probably it was because Dave would annoy me every year by watching the Oscars on his feed several minutes ahead of my tiVo and spoiling all the surprises.
Mini Pop Tarts. You know I've been eating these. I've been going through three pouches a day, because there are three flavors, and we are supposed to eat a varied diet. And they look like dollhouse poptarts. I've actually been scaling back on those, palming them off on Gary. I see the connection with Dave in that poptarts, that was breakfast when Dave and I were growing up, Poptarts and Instant Breakfast and Quisp.
Quisp. My god they still make Quisp. I just ordered some.
I promise I will be vigilant to track what triggers me to actually pour milk on the Quisp and put it in my mouth. Right now I think my breakfast triggers are 1)waking up and 2) that's it, just waking up, but no doubt I can pin this on Dave somehow.
Still not downing a fifth of vodka? Personally I think that just having some occasions of binge eating is dealing pretty well, given everything.
Dollhouse pop-tarts would be hard to resist, yes.
And now I'm curious as to what Quisp is!
Posted by: KC | March 21, 2023 at 12:04 PM
KC - it is Cap'n Crunch only less harsh to your upper palate and shaped into little "UFOs" -- sugar, essentially, but for kids.
Posted by: theQueen | March 22, 2023 at 01:13 AM
Less harsh to your upper palate is a good thing! Now that you say that, I have Memories of a kind of ripped-up mouth from some of those Cereals Eaten At Sleepovers... but also a lack of desire for Quisp since I was not all that impressed with Cap'n Crunch. (corn pops I did like, and cocoa puffs I *really* liked, and there was a peanut butter flavored thing that also met with approval, but our home cereal choices were cheerios, full-size unsweetened shredded wheat, and sometimes some form of chex - not the happy sugar cereals. Which, eh, was probably for the best given how cranky I get after a sugar crash...)
Posted by: KC | March 22, 2023 at 07:12 PM
KC - Sugar crashes don't affect me. Not having food affects me: I get very testy.
Posted by: theQueen | March 23, 2023 at 08:52 AM