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November 28, 2022

Comments

KC

I want an author to use the right number of words; this is usually not the absolute minimum. (... but also usually a tiny fraction of the number of words I use. So there is that. But I'm parenthetically inclined and decidedly rambly, and you are not, so there is that.)

If you want the reader to enter into the world of repairs and frustration, then a slightly longer version than "fiddled" would make sense; if that is not necessary, then I like your version better, in part because I have no idea what a rotary table even *is* in this case...

TheQueen

KC - it is an improvement over his first draft, in which there were fifty pages devoted to how an oil rig works.And even though I read that fifty pages, I also don't really know what the rotary table does. I think it'’s what causes the drill bit to rotate. I don't think it’s germane, that’s the thing.

KC

If something is not actually *doing something positive* for the reading process, out it goes! Just, sometimes you need descriptions for pacing, or for setting the scene, or for creating contrast, and that is fine...

theQueen

KC - I could see that for pacing. And it does make you feel like you're there.

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