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November 20, 2022



If I knew someone wanted me to just put them in the garden, *and I had a garden* as well (vs. living in an apartment complex or something where I would have to do ninja ash planting on someone else's property), I'd be fine with it.

Babysitting a baggie of ashes for the rest of my life, though, would not be so enthused about that, and I can also see how some people would feel weird gardening in dirt that has part of their friend in it somewhere and/or would feel that putting the ash in the garden would require more ceremony or something than they really know how to do? I don't think this is something we have a cultural script for. (sprinkling ashes over a body of water is already vaguely majestic-feeling, provided the body of water is, like, decent rather than a grubby oil-slick garbage-filled pond; a garden where an ant or something might pop up and haul off a bit of ash while you watch, though, is a bit trickier to feel appropriately formal and somber and deep or whatever exactly it is people feel like you ought to feel when Placing Ashes)


KC - That's true. People are usually observers at funerals, not officiants.


Basically, on average we probably don't like to get landed in situations where we feel like it's Important to get things right, but we don't have the foggiest idea what we're doing. This tracks.

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