Tucks

My crotch affliction is back AGAIN. The lower parts have definitely thinned and rusted to the degree that they are just intermittently tender, sore, and a touch ... gory.

I have eschewed the rough toilet paper and tried all the creams and unguents in the house. I even tried the Monistat 7, which took me down a rabbit hole while I researched what could cause bubbles in one's urine, and by using the scientific method I can say -- decisively -- Monistat 7 will make your urine bubbly. Not your thyroid, or proteinuria, or other alarming  things you may have Googled. 

However, because none of the ointments dealt with the problem, I began poking around in the backs of drawers and found that when I stocked the health larder one thing I bought in preparation for the future was an item called "Tucks."

I heard of them from a commercial that was too vague to say, "THIS IS FOR HEMORRHOIDS," just that they were for relief of rump itching and unpleasantness, and who among us has not been struck by that? 

I figured all the nether holes must be made of the same essential tissue, so why not open the tidy little tub and take out one of these damp circles and poke it up in my lady hole?

This is why: because Tucks are tucking COLD. As cold as witchcraft, frozen nitrogen, dry ice. Cold.

"What is in this stuff," I yelped, and found there is only one active ingredient: witch-hazel. (Witches, there you go. Cold as a witch's crotch.)

That was this morning. Now that I know to expect, the popsicle-in-the-crotch numbing effect is not the surprise it was before. It's actually kind of nice. And I think it might be helping. I'll give it a week and I'm sure things will have improved by then. No doubt the pudenda would improve on its own, and the pads are just a placebo. Don't care. I like placebos. 

Comments

[KC]

I vaguely assume you've talked to a doctor?

But also, yes, in theory witch hazel is supposed to be astringent and anti-inflammatory, while also being acidic (see: not giving you a yeast infection by tipping the balance too alkaline), so. Maybe?

You can also freeze water in test tubes as a numbing popsicle; I haven't tried that, but a pelvic floor PT told me about it. (but... cold. Not a fan of cold+there, so thanks for the warning about Tucks!)

Lidocaine cream is a straight-up anaesthetic (and is available otc), *but* has some side effects if absorbed, should be checked against medications, and may or may not increase bleeding. Also it feels weird, for behold, anaesthetic. (but also it feels a bit like when they give you IV contrast for a CT? Warming-and-something, ish?)

I wish body parts never misbehaved...

[TheQueen]

KC - yep, talked to three doctors, all say this is not something of concern, evidently hat area often knots up and hurts and gets out of balance. So far the Tucks are improving the situation. I didn't notice the problem at all today.

[KC]

Oh gosh, I just so terrifically do *not* want that to be normal at all. Sigh.

I am glad the tucks are improving the situation!