I told Gary two things about the novel.
It begins with a train derailment.
Gary's response: Does the heroine DIE NO ONE SURVIVES A TRAIN DERAILMENT ELLEN DON'T YOU KNOW THAT (followed by many pictures or train derailments) THERES NO SUCH THING AS A MINOR TRAIN DERAILMENT. It now begins with a train impact at a crossroads with a currently unspecified Vehicle Large Enough to disable a train.
There is a Turkish Baths place in town and it is Key. This is straight from Jerry's page long description of the town: "one illuminated sign read TURKISH BATHS."
Gary's response: SO IS THIS AN LGBTQ NOVEL? I thought there were straight Turkish baths, but even if there are, too much nuance. It would be the Chekov's Gun of Turkish Baths. We'd all be waiting for a steamy scene. So, there is no longer a Turkish Baths sign.
I am wonder why I shared those two things with Gary. I was pleased with them. Did I subconsciously want scrutiny?
Well, no matter. Scrutiny must make me write furiously. I intended to pare the first chapter down into an haiku, yet after Gary's input, it has doubled in size.