I must have been partially asleep during the Olympic opening ceremonies. I “remember” these things, and yet they can’t be real:
The announcer said that the Winter Olympics are in “just a few months” and I thought, “The Winter Olympics are in just a few months and no one is canceling them?” But it’s true, if they start in February, technically they are in six months, right?
There was an ad for a weird all-electric car that talks to you, and Gary said, “That is our next car,” and I thought, “That is our current car,” but ours doesn’t use the floor mats to indicate who it is addressing.
Then Gary turned the Parade of Nations into the Parade of Mask-Shaming, with particular contempt for Nose-Exposers.
A globe of drones appeared in the sky:
… and then they didn’t show it flying away, or exploding, or turning into a giant virus, or else they did and I was asleep.
I was particularly perplexed by the end of the ceremony, when they had celebrities sing the song Imagine in English (at least the parts I was awake for). Huh, I thought, shouldn’t the celebrity from each country sing in their native language?
And then, worse, they sang the Olympic Anthem in English. I began to suspect that this isn’t an “International” Olympic Committee. I mean, I know NBC pre-tapes the opening ceremony and edits it to focus on the English version of speeches, and the First Lady, and so on, but did they sing the Olympic Anthem in every language and then just air the English one? Or they might have and I just slept through it.