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May 12, 2021



That is so lovely!

It is also possible that a boss could (and might need to, depending on return-to-in-person plans) inform higher-ups about There Being This Situation In The Company without specifying that it is someone who reports to them (and obviously, without specifying who).

I've done before on an entirely different level/scale with potlucks or parties I've organized where other people will be bringing food, giving them the heads-up that we have this allergy and at least one vegetarian/person-with-celiac within the group, so please check ingredients and then label your food accurately so people can make good choices (which also gives people the option to bring something specifically vegetarian or whatever-free, while not requiring them to, because behold, some people have One Thing They Are Comfortable Making, and I am not going to unnecessarily mess with that!).

In some cases, it probably is suffering, either due to inadequate medical care access or extroverts who truly are Very Sad about not getting their hug quota. But yes, missing a retirement party: unlikely to be suffering for most people. (Re: medical care access: I am not on immunosuppressants but do have a... funky... immune system, and I postponed PT so that I could be fully vaccinated rather than taking bad-immune-system chances in a very red state, and that *did* end up resulting in literal months of pain, which in retrospect I still do not regret since if I had made the best PT choices, I would have been going in for PT at a place where the waiting room is part of a large room containing a gym while our community had around a 1 in 150 rate of known infections, a high positivity rate (which suggested the "real" infection number was higher), and a high rate of anti-maskers while I had an extremely hospitable immune system and just NOPE.)


KC - it’s sad to think that you had to be in pain in order to protect yourself, and it’s sad to think that some people can’t imagine a situation other than their own. After I mentioned my situation to my boss, I tried to imagine what it would have been like if it had been the first time he’d heard about it. “She’s just coming up with this problem so she can work from home forever.” I bet a lot of people are in that situation.


Yeah. The thing that baffles me is that the PT center we called in February hadn't actually had any "please do not stow me in the waiting room that shares air with the gym" requests, or at least acted like it (they also hadn't gotten any "can we do PT outside but on the property?" queries). But if you are not good at self-advocacy and are already feeling like a burden, then the idea of making special requests is appalling, so there is that, and many people who are in the at-risk category and also needing PT would likely feel that way. (I had the boost of it being my spouse calling, and my spouse has personally seen my immune system accept all visitors and hang onto colds/flus for excessively long, and has been told by doctors that I'm at increased risk for pneumonia, and my spouse "believes in" covid-19 and saw our local area being nutso [people being cranky/defiant about restrictions like "bars cannot be at full capacity indoors, only partial capacity" while the hospital was ripping out carpets in meeting rooms to turn them into additional covid ward space], so that helped! I might have folded after the second bewildered "no" because I am better at advocating for someone else than for myself.)

I hope enough people put in the work to advocate and educate so that the people who can't manage the full barrage of skepticism for themselves can have the way paved for them to get what they need to, you know, be less likely to die. AUGH. (I mean, we've still got the "people in a wheelchair must be paralyzed or they're faking" thing going on in our society, so I do not expect there to be widespread, nuanced understanding of immunity and how vaccine immunity is reduced when a person is on immunosuppressants. But AUGH.)


(note: February 2021. So, nearly a year of the pandemic and yet apparently no one had braved the gauntlet to ask for *maybe* only sharing germs with their PT and not also with everyone in the gym and waiting room.)


KC - I think maybe health professionals are a little offended that we think they would let a virus live on any of their surfaces or that a covid carrier would slip through their defenses. Maybe the pt place isn’t telling you about the requests.

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