Impossible

I was visiting the drive through at The Teat, and saw they had an Impossible meatless sandwich. I’ve wanted to try one of the Impossible burgers, preferably a Whopper, preferably next to an original all-meat Whopper so I could do a taste-test and call it a Whopp-off, but that never happened.  But here it was under my nose.

And here it is, exposed to the world. Unappealing.

“Odd,” I thought, “I read they use beet juice to make it juicy. So that we think it’s medium-rare. That just looks ... grey and unappetizing.”

Then I took a bite, and I noticed it had a vaguely sausagey taste, as if it had gone bad. It had not gone bad, because it was a sausage breakfast sandwich,  but I had to go to the Starbucks website before That became evident.  I certainly didn’t bite in to it and think, “Yum, sausage.”

I palmed it off on Gary. “Yum.”

I then handed him what I had originally intended for him, a flaky bacon cheese sandwich. “UM YUM OH GOD MWAHAH NUMNUMNUM.”

So, disappointing. I am still holding out for cloned beef and now cloned sausage.

Comments

[Arlene]

I wonder how the nutrition of so-called impossible meat compares with that of real meat. I don't mean the basic, big nutrients that everyone knows about like protein and fat or iron and B-vitamins. I mean ones that are more obscure that haven't been identified yet. Of course, I'm making the assumption that they exist, but that seems reasonable to me. Maybe these theoretical obscure nutrients are important. Are there any advanced civilizations that are vegan?

Anyway, I'm living in Nebraska. It's not easy to find gourmet anything compared to California.. But, we do have great beef.

[KC]

Some high-caste people are vegan (and have been historically vegan, although with old-enough historic vegans, one is less sure that 200 years ago they were not getting some bug protein intake along with their rice, etc.) - that said, they're usually somewhat rich, and thus may be getting a more varied diet on average in general. I am not sure, historically, how they've gotten their B12; I think that's the main identified Big Problem for vegans (although of course there could be other problems for some vegans - human nutrition synthesis isn't uniform, which makes things extra-interesting).

Also, the historically-vegan diets are whole-foods based rather than synthesized-foods-based, which also results in... differences... when it comes to product replacements. If we learned anything from early "we've got it!" baby formula experiments, it's that we don't have full knowledge of what components need to universally go in/stay out. (okay, that plus sometimes the local water to mix with formula powder is, itself, fatal to infants. Bad times.)

[TheQueen]

Arlene - I think Nebraska cuisine is more comparable to Missouri than California. As to the nutrition question, I think it’s moot because no one eats an all-meat diet, anymore than vegans eat an all-vegetable diet.
KC - when did began get to be status? No vegan is eating weeds all day every day. Vrmind, because now I have to look up baby formula horror stories.

[KC]

If you're in a reincarnation-based system and you're getting near the top of it, you don't want to mess things up and go backwards by killing animals, I think is the basic idea, although I just looked it up and apparently that in particular is a vegetarian, not a vegan diet (but some Buddhists have been vegan for a long-ish time). Broadly speaking, you have to be either rich or interested in asceticism to have gone specifically vegan (as opposed to incidentally largely vegan and often malnourished as per large chunks of the historic subsistence-farming population worldwide, in cases where people were just too poor to have access to animal-based foods and live off grains and beans and vegetables, all of which they raise themselves)(some subsistence farmers have a cow or chickens or pigs, but not all).

Yeah. It's... really something. The worst was Nestle, but there were also people who were actually *trying* to help instead of just going for profits (albeit helping 1. with condescension, 2. with a lack of local awareness, and 3. with the assumption that they Knew Everything about what needed to go into formula) and who really failed quite spectacularly and horrifically. Also, I just found out that there was something that ended up being named the Murder Bottle? Anyway. Things have improved, fortunately. Things have not been perfected, but they have been improved...

[TheQueen]

KC - Nestle murder bottle because the people mixed too little formula with too much bad water? Or Victorian murder bottle because it couldn’t be cleaned?

[KC]

Victorian murder bottle because it couldn't be cleaned was the one I just found out about.

Part of the scandal is that the nestle formula they were selling wasn't actually adequate for infant nutrition to begin with, let alone when people mixed it with too much water or with water that shouldn't be ingested by babies. I mean, yes, some babies could stay alive on it, but "it doesn't kill all the babies!" is not quite *success* for a "replace breastfeeding with this!" infant formula. (In cases where there is no *good* option available, then yeah, you do whatever you can and doing the best you can is fine, so formula in the 1800s that was merely aiming to supplement or to help babies with no breastmilk have higher survival rates, sure. And at this point, formula is pretty solidly about as good, aside from immune function, as breast milk, but... it wasn't back then. And Nestle could be reasonably argued to be aware of that, and yet.)

[TheQueen]

KC - the other thing Nestle did was they dressed salespeople up as nurses. And then had them tell lies.

[KC]

Yeaaaah no. This is part of why I feel very negatively about the short-term corporate gain theory of what companies should do, because yes, they got lots of money out of it! And yes, probably what they did was not technically illegal in at least most of the countries they did it in! But they killed a lot of babies? Which is bad? Even when profitable?

[TheQueen]

KC - (weighs options) ... babies ....chocolate .... babies ... chocolate.

[KC]

There are a lot of better chocolate options out there! What's your specific Nestle Most Preferred Treat?

(oh gosh, I bet you don't know about Theo Chocolate yet. You should order some Theo chocolate. You should *really* order some Theo chocolate. It is sooooo good, albeit expensive, but again, you are Of An Income Bracket where you can make those choices on non-essentials...)

[TheQueen]

KC - oh, Nestle Crunch is my go-to. Please don’t tell me the Crunch is made of baby teeth.
And I did get an assortment of fancy chocolates once - https://www.mocklog.com/queen_mediocretia/2010/05/salty-chocolate.html
... and it did not go too well. Well, perhaps that will be a good Christmas gift.

[TheQueen]

KC - oh, Nestle Crunch is my go-to. Please don’t tell me the Crunch is made of baby teeth.
And I did get fancy chocolates once - https://www.mocklog.com/queen_mediocretia/2010/05/salty-chocolate.html
... and it did not go well. But, I did just get a sampler for Christmas.

[KC]

It's not Nestle Crunch, but I might suggest https://theochocolate.com/hazelnut-crunch-milk-chocolate/ - I don't know whether there's a location near you that carries it, though (try https://theochocolate.com/chocolate-finder ?) and shipping for just one bar would be painful.

[TheQueen]

KC - I ordered a brunch of 6, and I will eat two on Christmas and distribute the rest to husband and his family. I puffed up ten pounds in twenty days, so I need to be exemplary until Christmas.

[KC]

I don't think I quite understand what a brunch of six is, in the context of chocolate? But oy, ten pounds in twenty days, either direction, is not ideal!

[TheQueen]

KC - 6 bars. It was to have been “bunch”. And no, half a pound a day is bad, especially when I am not eating 1800 extra calories every single day.

[KC]

Oooh! I hope you enjoy them thoroughly!

Hm - new medication slowing your metabolism, or water retention, or something else... the great mysteries of autoimmune life...

[TheQueen]

KC - pandemic making me even more sedentary

[KC]

That makes sense - exercise drastically reduced = same number of calories (or slightly more, as often goes with being sedentary and some level of bored/anxious) resulting in greater weight. Sorry! Can you take up Zumba, or Jazzercise, or Sit and Be Fit, or something? Or maybe go for one of the more "active" painting styles, although those require larger canvases...

[TheQueen]

KC - nope, I’m back on the exercise bike in the basement. Boring but effective, hopefully.

[KC]

Good time for podcasts/TV/etc., maybe? (I repeat memory work while on the recumbent bike, because both are boring but together they are substantially less boring - if my stints on the exercise bike were not short due to ye olde bizarre Exercise Intolerance, I would likely haul a book along, but as it is, I have to keep checking my heart rate to make sure it stays within the "will not vomit for hours tonight" window anyway, so it's not even an *uninterrupted* short stint on the bike.)

Anyway! Good for you for doing it! Your body will appreciate it. Eventually. Presumably.

[TheQueen]

KC - I’m building up exercise tolerance with my brother. I find it most efficient now to talk to him while I’m on the bike, so that he envies me for being able to bike and talk for ten minutes. I tell myself it motivates him.