About a month ago, I was looking out at the patio from our back door, and noticed a peculiar metallic noise. It didn’t take long to track it to the one metal thing on the patio: the Weber barbecue kettle.
A squirrel had identified the ash-catching pan as a recent Amazon purchase, and decided the aluminum would be a great thing to sharpen his teeth on. He walked around the circumference of the ash pan, stretched up and and grabbed on to it with his front paws, and gnawed all around the edge of the pan.
I opened the door and said, “Why?” The squirrel ran off. Two minutes later he was back, gnawing.
I wondered why a squirrel would turn his back on two types of peanuts, topped with birdseed, and choose a metal pan instead. (“LIKE THE FAJITAS!” Belly said. “IT’S BECAUSE HE CAN’T.”)
Then, last weekend, I heard a very upset squirrel making the alarmed squirrel bark noise. And he didn’t let up: it was fifteen minutes of this nonsense. Finally, I went out, tracked him down, looked under the tree for any squirrel babies, talked to him a while, and eventually he shut up.
Later that same day I was in the great room with Gary when we heard a stowaway French man rewiring the attic. (I seem to think all those men who are discovered living in attics are French.) I listened more closely and realized the noise was coming from the eaves.
I went out and confronted the squirrel, who immediately ran off.
I didn’t know at the time that aluminum is a squirrel’s favorite treat. I feel like I should get a block of aluminum and nail it to the trunk of the tree for a more convenient squirrel dental hygiene experience.