I have been plagued with an annoying wet cough. Not bad. It’s a little cat cough. It could be allergies.
Gary also has a cough, one of those dank phlegm-y coughs where you think the cougher must be putting it on. I don’t see how his lungs are still anchored after one of these coughs.
Yesterday afternoon we were both coughing.
Him: HUAACCHHHKKKKIKKUKUKUK. Ack. HARUMMM HARUMM. Ack. HUAACCHHHKKKKIKKUKUKUK
Me. Mheh. Is there any cough syrup?
Gary looked in the medicine larder and announced there was no cough syrup.
Given that I was working and he was not, I asked if he might go out and get some cough syrup. Flat no.
Last night I was awakened at one am by Gary coughing. I wearily slogged out to the room where he was fully awake, watching the news, and shaking the walls with his coughing.
”Gary. I can’t sleep with all this coughing. This is ridiculous. I’m going to go out and get cough syrup.”
And here is what happened next: I spent an hour finding the all-night stores now that Walmart is not open at night. I found many closed stores that teased me with their blazing lights. I tried the convenience store, but they only had pills, not syrup. I finally found, and bought, $75 worth of NyQuil/DayQuil at the all-night Walgreens.
While I was doing this, Gary took some cough syrup and went to bed.
“Wait, what,” you say, “I thought there was no cough syrup.” (Yes. That was my question, too.) But what I said to my sleepy husband was, “You took something?”
”Oh,” he said, “I had some of MY cough syrup. I said there wasn’t any for you because you can’t use my bottle. It has my germs.”
So it would appear we have separate medicines now. While he was roaring and harrumphing (HUAACCHHHKKKKIKKUKUKUK!) — I was asleep, and then he thought my little cat cough (Mheh) woke me. Then I was so dismayed by my wee cough that I made a nighttime run for my own sterile bottle of cough syrup. Because evidently we have his-and-hers bottles now and his is secreted in his room.
That was early, early this morning.
After I woke up, I thought we might have a conversation about the wisdom of hoarding separate bottles of cough syrup.
“What are you saying, cough syrup?” he demanded. “I don’t have any cough syrup.”
”But you .. But ... In the middle of the night you SAID you had taken cough syrup.”
”I did not. I took NyQuil.”
”Gary ... NyQuil IS COUGH SYRUP.”
”No. It does many things.”
I got his special personal bottle of NyQuil (yes, I touched his bottle) and pointed at the word “COUGH,” but he was right, it does not self-identify as cough syrup. I mean, for THIRTY FIVE YEARS we have referred to it as a cough syrup (THIRTY FIVE YEARS) but now there’s a new marketing campaign and it’s “the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing, stuffy-head, fever, so you can rest medicine” now.
His cough is totally gone today, by the way. I am still making my Mheh sound.