I heated up a sausage that had lived in the freezer entirely too many months, stabbed it with a fork, and I took a bite, and then I pulled it off the fork, and introduced it to its final resting place in the garbage disposal.
Gary saw this, and said, and I quote, “AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHH!”
”YOU JUST PUT THAT DOWN THE DISPOSER!”
”I’m not eating bad food!”
”YOU DON’T PUT FOOD DOWN THE DISPOSER!”
I just stared at him, and then slowly extracted the sausage from the garbage disposer. While staring at him.
”THROW THAT AWAY IN THE GARBAGE.”
I did, and then he calmed down enough to explain to me the rules for what goes in the garbage disposal.
Things that do not go in the garbage disposer:
- Garbage. Even if you want to dispose of it. It would be nice if there were a machine you could use to dispose of your garbage, a garbage disposer, if you will, but no.
Things that go in the garbage disposer:
- Particulate Matter
I don’t know when the rules changed, be we are no longer to use the choppy/grindy blades of the garbage disposer to mince up food into particulate matter, because the water processing plant has had enough of sluicing stuff out of the sewage system.
He was able to find many citations on the Internet about how you shouldn’t put foods, rinds, shells, or anything down your disposer. I suppose kids today are all about the composting. I told him I would be happy to hurl our bad sausages out to the raccoons, and he didn’t like that idea. (“NO THEY’LL GET SICK.’) So I am now to put all food trash in the trash, and so that it doesn’t draw flies, you’ll love this, I need to put it in a ziplock bag.
And the awful thing is that I can’t sneakily do what I like on Saturday mornings when he’s asleep, which is to run a garbage disposer on the down-low. Too loud.
Is this crazy? This is crazy, right? Is this because I’m old? Do young folks only use their garbage disposers for sour milk and sugar that fell into the sink?