[Gary update: no virus in the swab test, and there was no antibody test - Gary misunderstood what the blood draw was for. They checked his liver numbers for some reason.]
Anyway. So, like all other direct tax depositors, we got a touching letter from Donald Trump letting us know he had sent us lots of money. The letter was definitely from him. Heart attack signature and everything.
I immediately passed it off to Gary, who read the back — which I hadn’t done. “Why is the President writing in Spanish?” he asked. The Spanish translation was on the back.
It surprised me that he would anger his base by admitting he had sent stimulus money to Mexicans. Perhaps he only sent it to the Some He Is Sure Are Good People.
It reminded me of the Bush Rebate Check skit on Saturday Night Live. (I have hunted for video, and I can’t find it because it was on a special Thursday Prime Time episode. But I found the transcript.)
President George W. Bush: (Will Farrell) [ holding large check ] I have a check here – that is a big check – made out to the U.S. Taxpayer, for the amount of $1,600, which is the average tax cut for a family of four under my plan. And all I’m asking in return, is you start being cool to me. Ever since I got here, people have had low expectations of the Bushie ... I’m asking you, America, to be my buddy. I’m giving you $1,600 bucks. Al Gore wouldn’t give you any money – he would bore you with one of his lectures, and give the money to a tree. Not me. I’m giving cash, in exchange for us becoming compadres ... Feel free to come down to the Bush White House – that’s 800 Pennsylvania Avenue – where I trade cash for your approval.
They need to revive that skit.