[Gary update: no virus in the swab test, and there was no antibody test - Gary misunderstood what the blood draw was for. They checked his liver numbers for some reason.]
Anyway. So, like all other direct tax depositors, we got a touching letter from Donald Trump letting us know he had sent us lots of money. The letter was definitely from him. Heart attack signature and everything.
I immediately passed it off to Gary, who read the back — which I hadn’t done. “Why is the President writing in Spanish?” he asked. The Spanish translation was on the back.
It surprised me that he would anger his base by admitting he had sent stimulus money to Mexicans. Perhaps he only sent it to the Some He Is Sure Are Good People.
It reminded me of the Bush Rebate Check skit on Saturday Night Live. (I have hunted for video, and I can’t find it because it was on a special Thursday Prime Time episode. But I found the transcript.)
President George W. Bush: (Will Farrell) [ holding large check ] I have a check here – that is a big check – made out to the U.S. Taxpayer, for the amount of $1,600, which is the average tax cut for a family of four under my plan. And all I’m asking in return, is you start being cool to me. Ever since I got here, people have had low expectations of the Bushie ... I’m asking you, America, to be my buddy. I’m giving you $1,600 bucks. Al Gore wouldn’t give you any money – he would bore you with one of his lectures, and give the money to a tree. Not me. I’m giving cash, in exchange for us becoming compadres ... Feel free to come down to the Bush White House – that’s 800 Pennsylvania Avenue – where I trade cash for your approval.
They need to revive that skit.
Yeah. I got one of Trump's letters. Someone must have pointed out to him that people with direct deposit wouldn't see the signature on the check.
I do think Trump's signature reflects his mental state--maniacal agitation. It's hard to believe that mess is in the White House.
Yay! Gary doesn't have the plague.
Posted by: Arlene | May 06, 2020 at 04:53 PM
I hope the liver numbers are good, and that whatever Gary *does* have heals up fast! (and also that he does not give it to you, because you do not need *any* plague at all.)
(if he does get a bladder infection out of it, I will be Very Curious.)
Posted by: KC | May 06, 2020 at 06:46 PM
Arlene - I would say it’s surreal, but 2020 has raised the bar on what surreal means.
KC - I think it was a flu, just not the Covid flu.
Posted by: TheQueen | May 06, 2020 at 09:36 PM
I hope you do not get whatever flu it was, then!
(and yes. Can we quit raising the bar on what surreal means, and quit having real news headlines that *should* be straight out of the Onion, and quit lowering the standards for sanity and truthfulness in elected officials, maybe? Maybe even this year?)
Posted by: KC | May 07, 2020 at 07:13 PM
KC - not till after Jan 20, 2021, I suspect
Posted by: TheQueen | May 07, 2020 at 08:36 PM