I took inventory of what was in every freezer and larder.
Oddly, there are no cans of beans. Note: go buy quaranbeans.
Shown below is the end of my inventory. (Those two scrawled lines are “HUNKS CHEES(E)” and “BLUE BERRIE(S)” specifically.) So, here is some of what we will be eating if we are confined for, say, two months.
Do not scoff. I will eat or sell or barter the raccoons. I look at them now and I see fat, peanut-fed raccoon steaks.
I suppose I should have added opossums to the list as well, but they are muscular and I may want to keep them to pull the miniature plows in the backyard cabbage farm we will soon establish.
The skunks, however, will not be eaten or put to work: they will be bred. Remember GlamourSkunk, with her all-white tail and sporty banded legs? She has brought along her brothers and sisters. Their all-white tails are a little thinner, the bands a little spottier, but still miles more attractive than your standard skunk. Gary and I were debating if they were a separate breed of skunk, or mutants, or if we were just seeing recessive genes, and then we started making Mendel charts, and clearly skunk-breeding will be our new hobby.
There are so many raccoons in our country that I'm pretty sure they taste terrible, or we would already be eating them.
I did my first Whole Foods pick up this morning. Oddly, I have been craving a salad. Once in my apartment, I washed all the fresh produce--lettuce, celery, tomatoes, mushroom, and green onions--with 1% bleach. Rinsed well, blotted on paper towels and (to my relief) it seems fine. I understand it will last longer after bleaching.
Cheers, Arlene
Posted by: Arlene Wise | March 25, 2020 at 04:47 PM
Arlene - Oddly, my sick brother has been craving salads. Are you craving salad because it’s a choice that symbolizes health in all this sickness? Also, I did a little research, and raccoon supposedly tastes like liver. I don’t like liver, but I imagine things taste better when you are really hungry.
Posted by: TheQueen | March 26, 2020 at 07:30 AM
I was craving salad because I had used up all my fresh produce the week before. Not keen on going out to shop in stores right now. By the way, the bleached salad was delicious. I got the idea from a survivalist blog--not my normal reading, but it did indicate that Federal regulations describe amounts of bleach that can be used on food.
I know most chicken (not the air chilled) gets bleached.
Hmm. Racoon and onions?
Arlene
Posted by: Arlene Wise | March 27, 2020 at 11:04 AM
Arlene - what a weird dystopian time that I reach for survivalist blogs and bidets.
Posted by: TheQueen | March 27, 2020 at 04:26 PM