You know, if you just hang on, all the nagging questions (Deep Throat, Kenneth and his frequency) will be answered.
Well, thirteen years after 2006, an answer has arrived for the question posed in this post: why is there a reference to "Scary Ghost Stories" in The Christmas Song?
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago
I was so obsessed with finding the answer that I even contacted the composer's grandson via his blog, but he could only say that his grandfather was the composer, not the lyricist.
Facebook's algorithm must have looking in the blog archives, because FB posted Smithsonian Magazine's Plea to Resurrect the Christmas Tradition of Telling Ghost Stories, which led to Smithsonian’s Why Do People Tell Ghost Stories at Christmas (which even references the song) and evidently the real question is, "Why Don't Middle Class Americans (Like Ellen) Tell Ghost Stories at Christmas,” because evidently Christmas ghost stories are a real thing people do. Or did. Or at least they did it for "much of the 19th century."
Long, long ago indeed.