Saint Louis has a secret cabal of TV sports execs who orchestrate game outcomes to make the most satisfying stories and get the highest ratings.
Here is a sample of their meeting minutes from last year:
Saint Louis Sports Cabal Meeting Summer 2018
Meeting called to order 9:30 am
Saint Louis Cardinals Baseball on path to follow standard playoff trajectory: sucking until the All-Star game and then pulling out a playoff bid at the last minute. No additional drama required at this time.
- Motion: To plan Blues hockey Stanley Cup bid 2019
Vote: Motion carried
Resolved: Take Blues from last place to winning the Stanley Cup
Too far? Will raise suspicion? Resolved: No.
Music tie-in needed? Laura Brannigan's agent wants Gloria to be team song. Concerns: has nothing to do with hockey.
Tabled: Team response to White House invite.
Meeting adjourned at 9:45