Snare Drum

I was sitting in the balcony at Powell Hall, listening to the Messiah last Christmas, when I asked Anne, "Do you feel that? Is this entire row of seats vibrating like the balcony's about to collapse?"

"Not that I've noticed," she said, calmly.

At intermission I walked about and was able to report that either the entirety of Powell Hall was vibrating or that it was just me having some type of internal episode.

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A few weeks ago at the end of the Apollo 11 documentary I noticed that the vibrations were back in force — there was a snare drum in my pelvis playing a drum roll.

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The next week I was leaning forward in the computer chair, and the vibrations felt like my heartbeat was in my belly, only racing and thready. I remembered that my grandmother died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm.

(Had I not taken that anxiety tangent, I would have gone to the Google instead and found out that internal vibrations are common, and caused by - hello - anxiety and - hello - Multiple Sclerosis.)

But instead of Googling, I thought of Grandma and used the computer to make an appointment with my GP. (Under "symptoms" I really did report there was a snare drum in my pelvis.)

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The night before my appointment, Gary and I finally Googled my symptom. Neither of us found aortic aneurysm: instead he found uterine cancer and I found anxiety and (after I searched the exact words "internal tremor") MS. Of course, we found these things after it was too late to cancel with the GP.

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Keeping the appointment seemed reasonable the night before, yet the next day while I was driving to see the GP it seemed like a really bad idea. I kept rehearsing what I would say to him, but there was just no way to say, "I am suffering from Abdominal Drumming" without sounding nuts.

So, when the nurse knitted her brow and said, "I have no record of any appointment for you," I leaned forward, poked my finger at her and said, "YES. Keep it that way."

"I can look to see - "

"NO. I was never here," and poof, like that, I was gone. When I got back to the car I discovered I was a week early, and as such had plenty of time to cancel, which I did.

I have a neurologist visit early next month. I might mention it there. Now that I've been tracking it the last few days, it seems to be simply the excitement my guts feel when I supply them with fiber. Apples and salad make my belly's heart race.

Comments

[KC]

Congratulations on escaping the GP appointment! That is great. :-)

These illnesses with their ultra-weird symptoms: not ideal. But that particular one sounds fascinating! I hope it's not especially unpleasant and hope you acclimate soon.

(another thing I am not fond of: medications for ultra-weird illnesses where, in the "report to a doctor immediately if you experience these" side effects section, the list is composed entirely of the normal daily symptoms for your illness. C'mon, people. That and every symptom under the sun being a possible sign of cancer, *except* the ones that don't even exist on the internet because they are that rare...)

[TheQueen]

KC - the first time I was on steroids, I reported to the doctor that I gained weight. When he said, “Of course you did, that’s what steroids do.” I was able to point to where the instructions TOLD me to report it to my doctor if I gained weight. He told me to ignore the instruction sheet. I suppose lawyers write those.

[KC]

That is bonkers. I mean, I understand it being good for the doctor to be aware of what side effects are occurring, especially since side effects can have an effect on medication compliance (and they also sometimes signal other patient sub-type details which are useful for future medication choices), but I feel like it would be more efficient to have people report to their doctors if they're on steroids and *don't* gain weight, because that's the remarkable case?

(also: the length of the prescription medication information forms: totally nuts. More information is not better, if that means that people will end up not reading any of it!)