I understand why people wait until spring to clean. Everything looks so filthy in the winter light anyway, so why bother? You clean, and then the sun shines a floodlight at floor level and every speck of dust casts a foot-long shadow.
But last week I was outside and the air was full of oxygen, and I thought, "I could go back home and clean." But I did not, because the sun was setting.
That made me wonder, what are the perfect conditions for spring cleaning?
- Your house has to be reasonably clean already, because spring cleaning is devoted to crazy stuff like dusting the baseboards and door tops.
- The house must be filled with spring sunlight, and ALL the interior lights must be on, the better to see the filth.
- Daffodils must be up so you can place a vase of them on your table.
- It cannot have rained in the last day, because wet footprints will mar your shiny floor.
- No one can have mowed in the last day, again, because you don't want grass bits on your floor.
- It cannot be too hot. Eighty degrees is too hot.
- It has to be a weekend, because you won't get the full sun during work hours in the spring.
And of course, this is why I haven't done any spring cleaning for ...let me think ... five years.