So, Jeff Bezos has out-balled the National Enquirer after they threatened to publish "embarrassing" photos. Were I in the same situation, even minus the Bezos billions, I wouldn't have given in to that blackmail either. Because they had nothing.
Here are the photos the Enquirer threatened to publish:
"· Mr. Bezos face selfie at what appears to be a business meeting."
Is it a naked business meeting? How is this a threat?
· Ms. Sanchez response — a photograph of her smoking a cigar in what appears to be a simulated oral sex scene.
I could see this in any cigar advertisement in any magazine.
· A shirtless Mr. Bezos holding his phone in his left hand — while wearing his wedding ring. He’s wearing either tight black cargo pants or shorts — and his semi-erect manhood is penetrating the zipper of said garment.
Okay, I'll give you that one, that would be embarassing. If I were him I would hang my hopes on the word "semi." I'm betting it's entirely floppy. There's something fishy about how they described it as "penetrating the zipper," as if they needed to give it some imagined firmness.
· A full-length body selfie of Mr. Bezos wearing just a pair of tight black boxer-briefs or trunks, with his phone in his left hand — while wearing his wedding ring.
So, he's essentially in his underwear, while married. Is the point of mentioning the wedding ring to undermine his contention that he was having the affair while separated?
· A selfie of Mr. Bezos fully clothed.
Shocking. I must delete all the fully-clothed selfies from my phone this minute.
· A full-length scantily-clad body shot with short trunks.
Is he supposed to be ashamed of this because it might get him thrown out of McDonalds?
· A naked selfie in a bathroom — while wearing his wedding ring. Mr. Bezos is wearing nothing but a white towel — and the top of his pubic region can be seen.
Naked selfie? You aren't naked if you are in a towel. Look up naked. I'm pretty sure. And Michael Phelps opened up the top of the pubic region for public consumption years ago.
· Ms. Sanchez wearing a plunging red neckline dress revealing her cleavage and a glimpse of her nether region.
... and ...
· Ms. Sanchez wearing a two-piece red bikini with gold detail dress revealing her cleavage.
So they will show photos of his girlfriend in clothing that she purchased and then wore in public. I don’t get how this is embarrassing. Also, am I to assume the neckline plunges down to her nether region? In addition, why does she only have one nether region when the term I have always heard is “nether regions”?
Minus the semi-dick pic, none of that would even embarrass me. And given that they've already published the revelation that there is a full-dick pic, why did they think a semi would give him the fantods? They can't publish either photo without blurring it, so one blur will be smaller than the other.
I thought Jeff Bezos was a baller, but he isn't making a big noble sacrifice here, at least this time.