When I spotted this T-Rex skeleton at the Home Depot, I had to think for a moment before I summoned Gary. Because I knew he would want it.
This was his response:
"Oh my god! What IS that? It's a dinosaur. For Halloween? IT'S A HALLOWEEN DINOSAUR. We could buy that! It's only" [sic] "two hundred and ninety-nine dollars. We would be 'the people in the house with the T-Rex.' We could put it in the yard. We could put an iron stake in the ground and use those heavy chains in the basement and padlock him to the stake so no one would take him. Oh wait, he lights up. AND HE'S ANIMATED! His mouth moves! Does he roar? He roars and his eyes light up! We would have to plug him in. No one would take him off the porch. That would be so great if we could put him out for Halloween. Or any party, really. Any time we have a party we would just sit the T-Rex out on the porch. You would have to start having the tea party again. AHAHAHAHA He would be a Tea-Rex! For the tea party! And you could put the party favors on a silver tray and wire it to his tiny hands!"
He slowed down when he realized they're mass produced and we might not be the only people with a skeletal T-Rex in our yard. I just know I'd better not come home Monday night to find this thing on the porch.