Aging was the theme for the week, beginning Thursday, when I turned 55. I've done everything new there is to do. Time to turn old.
We've been playing with all the aging cliches lately. Every weekend Gary fills his pockets with Werther's candy and we go to the matinee, so, two cliches down right there. We tried another elderly treat: eating at a cafeteria. I was expecting frail old grannies debating between the soups and treating themselves to a half slice of two kinds of cake, like my grandma did. Not today's cafeterias. The people at the Golden Corral would have eaten my grandma if she fit on the plate. No one was frail and old. The were huge and voracious. They were so huge and voracious Gary had a nightmare that night in which he was pursued by fat people.
Gary himself seems to be experimenting with how his old age will look. We had a delightful time last night, driving on new roads, going to a new grocery store, seeing a new act. Retirement looked good when we were having fun yesterday, but today he pooped out and slept for hours. I tried to nap but I was unable to and we wasted a perfectly beautiful August day. And how often do those come up? Just this morning someone asked me when I was going to retire. It might be conceivable in just three short years. I need to craft a retirement that doesn't bore me silly. One that's full of "newness."
Another aging cliche popped up at work. We have some Millennials on our team. (They are self-aware millenials, so they joke about their need for participation trophies.) I was complaining that any audio we put in our training would cause problems when we had to edit it, one of he Millennials told me that software has advanced enough to take existing audio and invent new words the person never said. I would have felt shame for my ignorance, only ten minutes later I was able to solve a problem with a 32 year old DOS command. I was pleased. ("DOS! Suck it, Millennial!" I crowed.)
I need to remember how Mom dealt with her retirement. She was fifty. She had some rules:
- No more than three hours of televsion a day.
- Get dressed every day.
- Always have a project to work on. (I still have to learn to knit. That's a project in my back pocket.)
- Have something to look forward to every day.
I should have thought of that advice earlier today. I got dressed: that was the only thing I did right.