Latest march? Truth March on June 3rd.
(For some reason, I woke up with the urge to make a sign. Before you jump on me, that's the way Thomas Jefferson spelled it in the Declaration of Independence. Evidently unalienable is not the same as inalienable, and Jefferson went with unalienable.)
Speaking of urges, I didn't get to hang out with other marchers before because I needed to find a bathroom. I'd gone before we left the house, but signals were crossed and I was not really done. I was out of luck until Union Station finally opened at 10.
Union Station, in the past, was a hopping tourist place to be. Now it's deserted. It's a year away from being one of those malls on the internet with weeds growing through the floor in the food court. So, when I saw a couple inside I deduced, "You've been to the bathroom."
They explained the bathroom was to the left, past the sandwich shop, but you had to buy something to use it. People, I wanted to say, I have never blown in anywhere to use the bathroom without buying something after. It's the RULE.
Got to the sandwich shop. No one there. Because, as I said, it's a wasteland.
A security guard was in the vicinity, told me exactly where the bathroom was, and reiterated the rule about buying something.
After I was done with the bathroom (which was ten empty storefronts yards further down the mall, I don't know why this place thought they had dibs on it), I came back and still no one was manning the sandwich shop. I found the guard again, gave him five dollars and said to buy himself a cookie on me.
It was almost - almost - like bribing someone, and you know that's on my bucket list.
As I passed a glass storefront on my way out I realized why people kept explaining the Pay to Pee rule. I looked homeless. My hair was crazy, my jeans were frayed, and I and I had a Cheeto strung around my neck. Plus I was staggering more than usual because I was very hot.
The heat was a topic of discussion on the march. "It's too hot!" "It's June!" "He was supposed to be GONE BY JUNE."
One of the main reasons I do not go to many marches (I have been to two, my town's Women's March and my town's March for Truth) is because of my fear of not finding a bathroom. Democracy is difficult for people with old bladders.
Posted by: Common Household Mom | June 17, 2017 at 04:15 PM
Common Household Mom (Hi!) - I did not make it in time for one march, and the next march I used one of those ... those ... if I could spell Sillohette I would call it that, but frankly, diaper is easier to spell. This time I forgot for some reason.
Posted by: theQueen | June 18, 2017 at 09:37 AM
It is your excellent on the scene reporting that I so value.
What, no porta potties?
Posted by: Hattie | June 18, 2017 at 04:58 PM
Hattie - no! He earth march was so PROUD of their potties I thought there would be.
Posted by: TheQueen | June 18, 2017 at 08:16 PM