Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Doing a New Thing

A few weeks ago I felt the nip in the air and I got my seasonal party urge. I don't throw the yearly tea party anymore, but this year I'm making my lists and amusing myself with details for a non - party project.

TeddyJ is having their yearly craft fair and I'm going to try to sell some of the jewelry I've made since July.  I have no excuse for how weird this jewelry is. These things demanded to be made. After months of fashioning jigsaw puzzles and dollhouse food into necklaces I did make one normal bead necklace just  for my sanity. 

Like the yearly tea party, I'm sure I'll enjoy the preparation much more than the actual event. In fact, when I quizzed the two friends who tried this last year, I found that if your goal is to actually SELL something you'll be disappointed. One person sold absolutely nothing, another sold a few things after slashing her prices.

Therefore, I have slashed prices to start.  Five bucks for earrings. Fifteen for earring / necklace sets.

I feel very much like I'm playing Retail Barbie. Still, it's something I haven't done before. 

My Life is Measured Out in The Big Coffee Spoons.

We have two sizes of spoon in our spoon drawer: outrageously big tablespoon and normal sized teaspoons. We never eat with the big spoons. I want that known up front.

Yesterday morning I went through my tea-making ritual. The ritual ends with:

• Add Equal
• Splash in milk
• Get a Big Spoon from the drawer
• Stir tea with the spoon handle
• Lick the tea off the handle
• Pop the spoon back in the drawer

It's such a habit that I mindlessly did it while he WAS STANDING THERE LOOKING RIGHT AT ME.

He was too surprised to scream like a woman in his usual fashion. Instead he gasped, "Did you just do that?"

I started to laugh and choked out: "I .... do ... that.... every ... time."

In the past I would have not heard the end of it, but instead he wheeled around, ran like a bunny for his iPad and posted it on Facebook.

Thanksgiving

Things I Am Thankful For:

Because of conflicting family obligations, the in-laws celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday instead of Thursday. That meant that for the first time in over thirty years, Gary and I celebrated our First Thanksgiving.

Here are some gloomy, dark photos of Our First Thanksgiving.

Elegant Table Settings at Our First Thanksgiving:

 

Gary Ready to Eat Three Plates of Food:

I Am Thankful for Friends.

I've been going to a friend's house on a monthly basis for baking lessons (and refuge from MSNBC and Gary), and she taught me how to make a pie crust without tears. You use unbleached flour and Crisco along with the butter: that seems to be the trick.

I Am Not Thankful For Family.

Well, that's if you even consider in-laws family. Gary's nephew was off his medication, and without it he equals my brother on his worst unmedicated day. So far he's had screaming altercations with his sister, his aunt, and his grandparents, and since he's dead to all of them I offered our home as a place to stay after dinner. That was a mistake. He and Gary almost came to blows and he was gone before two hours had passed.

I Am Thankful For Distractions.

I've got demented jewelry projects going on. Necklaces made from jigsaw puzzles don't just make themselves, and yet they still insist on being made. (I did make one necklace out of beads like a normal human being. It took me three tries.) 

I'm going to mediatate (seriously, would you ever imagine I'd start a sentence with that), then I think we'll spend the day drinking wine, eating pie, and binge-ing on new episodes of Gilmore Girls.

Mental / Physical Health

Mental Health. Remarkably, I'm now a convert to mindfulness and meditation. The last time I went on a walk I noticed that I was dwelling on the negative (losing Gary) and re-directed my thoughts to where I would live if I lost Gary (a warehouse loft that would look empty until I pushed a button and then tiny-house-style beds would drop down, origami-like sofas would emerge, tables would rise from the floor and yellow and white furninishings would unfold from all sides. Kind of like the end of Pillow Talk, but color-coordinated.)  It's like I've won my Superego back on my side and it censors the negative instead of running a commentary on all my flaws.

Physical Health. I went for my yearly physical and two notable things happened.

First, for the first time in years I got a flu shot. I haven't gotten them in the past because of my bad reaction to raw eggs, but this year we decided to see what happens. And you know whhat? Nothing happened. I didn't end up in the bathroom. The doctor suspected that since the raw egg wasn't in my digestion, my digestion wouldn't reject it, to put it daintily.

Second, I gave a urine sample on the way out. I've given dozens - nay hundreds - of pee samples. You'd think I'd know how to do it. Usually it's without incident. For some reason this time I decided to read the directions posted on the wall. So I stood there reading the directions, unwrapped the towelettes, pulled down my pants and for some stupid reason - still standing - santized my area.

My area immediately said, "Wait? We're wiping already? I didn't even pee yet! Here, lemme catch up."

And I peed all over myself and my partially down underwear (but not my fully down pants) as I lurched over to the commode. I had intended to wipe, sit, unscrew the cap, position, and pee, but that was all happening at the same time now. Luckily I was able to fill the cup halfway, and luckily I had a zip lock bag in the car I could store my soggy underwear in.

It just occurs to me - that could have been my body rejecting the flu vaccine. Nah. Just me being dumb.

 

Anti-Trump March Favorites

I was asked why I went to the St. Louis Anti-Trump March. Here are a few reasons:

• I haven't been to many protest marches. In my youth I marched to protest the Green River Murders. This seemed a little more controversial.
• I am sick to death of listening to Gary Trump-Grump. It started about nine p.m. on Election Night and has continued non-stop. And it's not just normal anger; it's an infectious anger. I thought if he put his feelings into action he might start the healing. Because the healing has to start. I can't take four more years of constant foul moods fed by the twenty-four hour news cycle.
• And, my favorite reason: even if it does no good at all, and we are stuck with this clown representing us on the international stage, it still felt really, really good. Especially if you imagine it might be hurting Trump's feelings.

I have no idea how many of us there were. We took up at least one city block: curb to curb on Broadway.  The police were nice enough to block traffic from Citigarden to Fourth and Market, then down Fourth to Washington, where for some reason there was a sit-in. I gathered from all the shouting that the police detained someone, and then they let him loose so we could cheer.

My favorite chant was "I ... reject ... the president-elect!" My least favorite was "The people, united, will never be defeated," because that's a little cruel after your side has actually been defeated and that's the precise reason you are having the march. We were given approved chants beforehand and that wasn't on the list. One that was on the list was "This is what democracy looks like," which was also a little cruel, since democracy was what got us into the situation we were marching about, but whatever. We also whipped out some "black lives matter" and some "hey hey, ho ho, Donald Trump has got to go." 

Finally, my favorite sign.

Annoyances

Earlier this week I came home from work, and Gary went into his daily Rant About Trump.

I said, "He won't win. The news networks need ratings, so they tell you he has a chance so you'll watch. Stop watching the news."

He continued watching the news and shouting at the TV. I argued that he'd had all day to watch the news, and I had limited time to distract myself. After wasting an hour I realized there are two TVs in this house.

Just as I got up to change rooms, my brother called. He spent thirty minutes on the phone trying to send me something he saw in Facebook. The entire time I insisted that I was not at all interested in what he was sending me. Eventually after he Facetimed me I got to see this "wonderful" thing. A photo. A friend's wife was in the background with a humorous expression. I flipped him off through the power of Facetime and hung up.

In both instances I was annoyed that I have limited time, yet these men with infinite free time wasted my time. But of course, I was the one who wasted my time. I should have ended both conversations quickly.

Walk away. Turn your back. As always, the answer I give myself and everyone else is "Distance." Care less. But the price to be paid for that is less intimacy. Less support, less love, all the complaints I have today.

Then again, though I was ignored at the time, both Dave and Gary have become a little more appreciative of my time. Yesterday Dave only called three times for five minutes instead of once for thirty minutes. Gary asked if I wanted to leave the house (cabin fever contributed to my irritability earlier this year) and more important, turned off the news last night.

However, yesterday he did say, "Ugh, look at that balding woman on TV."

I said, "Hey, I'M balding."

He said, "Yes, but she's not old."

So he's still annoying.