On Monday, I went out to buy a pair of gold hoop earrings.
I bought a gold pair, and snatched up a silver pair on sale as I checked out.
I hadn't found any of these newfangled collar or climber earrings. "No problem," I said, "I'll just get some on Macy's online."
And then the snowball started rolling.
A collar and climber at Macy's.
Another two at Overstock.
Two more at Amazon.
Who am I kidding, I said, and then bought ten pair, TEN PAIR, from eBay.
None of them were over four bucks. Well, eight bucks. Maybe one was ten. I tried to keep it classy. With the exception of one pair of fish, and, okay, the elephant heads, no earrings look like anything but earrings.
I eventually stopped after page 75 of used earrings.
And now that they are all displayed in front of me, I see that I put the "costume" in "costume jewelry." Not a single classy pair, except maybe the square crystal Nordtrom's ones that were too boring for the original buyer to take out of the packaging.
I'm only halfway through the three months of healing. This does not bode well.