Winning, No Cheating

I forgot to tell you these things.

NaughtiGras

I went to NaughtiGras this year. It's an erotic art show combined with burlesque and street theater. I foolishly went without Gary, and I missed him. He would have loved the burlesque acts. There were people walking around on stilts, sleight-of-hand magicians, semi-nude strippers, semi-nude human sushi platters, and lots of all-nude art. There was a dearth of penises (I counted three) but lots of boobage.

The best moment was asexual. The magician had me pick a card, look at it, put it back, then guessed the card using appropriate mumbo-jumbo. I begged him to tell me the trick and he would not spill. On the drive home I realized he saw the card's reflection in my glasses.

Trivia

The usual selection of trivia friends WON the Diabetes Trivia. First place. Won it alllll. Well, actually won a selection of wines, a wine glass, a golf shirt, and fast food gift cards. Usually trivia winners get cash money that they then magnanimously return to the charity, but we were not awarded cash.

It was sort of an awkward trivia, in that the caller was the Dramatic Chipmunk of trivia callers. We started to append "Or die" to all his comments.

"BE BACK FROM BREAK IN FIFTEEN MINUTES." he'd intone.

"... or diiiiieeeee..." we'd whisper.

"TURN IN YOUR ANSWER SHEETS TO THE RUNNERS."

"... or dieeeee ..."

I can tell you that actually winning was very anticlimactic. I imagined they'd announce at least your table number. Nope. No announcement. Everyone else just files out of the hall, the winning tables are left, and you go up and collect your gift basket. We reveled in our glory anyway.

I Can Walk

It's a miracle. (And sorry to fans of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for giving you that earworm.) I went to my neuro appointment and after years of not being able to walk a straight line, I can do it now.

I was surprised to make it all the way across the room without falling over, given that I usually fall over three or four steps in.

"You did that too fast," the doctor said, sceptically. "Do it slower this time."

I assumed I'd fall on my face, but no, I made it across the room. I have a few theories.

I've lost weight, so perhaps I'm no longer trying to center a giant Disney cartoon body on pinpoint feet. However, I've been far smaller than this in the last twenty years and I've toppled over every time.

Perhaps it worked well because I was a little sloppy with the heel to toe. More like heel to bunion.

(Moments later)

Okay, I just got back from an impromptu self- exam in the living room. It seems I can walk heel to toe now four times out of ten. At first I thought it was the bunion cheat, but then that stopped working. Then I bent my knees, had some success, then fell over. I had the best luck walking on the actual side on my right foot, but I know that won't fly under the doctor's eye.

Hm. Perhaps I need to practice the heel-toe walk more. I know I can game this system.

Comments

[Mrs. Hall]

there is no need for random penises. like ever. but boobies and art is always welcome! :) good job on winning the contest and walking well! :)

[Hattie]

Yes, it all sounds good. Is there some kind of med that's helping? I'd heard that there are new meds around. Pardon my general ignorance here, but youth wants to know.

[theQueen]

Mrs Hall - No, I like a random penis once in a while.
Hattie - Yep. I was in the clinical trial for Gilenya since eight years ago (the first of the MS pills), and it seems to have taken me from 1-3 lesions a year to none. It's good stuff. The doc says only about 10K people use it. I was surprised. The most commonly used med is still the shots, I guess.