("Sanitary details" was our family term for pads. Or, I could have called the post "rat matresses.")
All symptoms of menopause have cleared up. No hot flashes, no dryness. Instead, I am making up for all those period-free years. The OB-GYN said that since everything had looked good, my options were: hysterectomy / hormones.
I filled the hormone prescription, but then I thought of a third option: wait it out. Seriously, this has to end sometime. It went on a five month hiatus over the summer.
So, last Tuesday I was in the bathroom at work and discovered that my uterus is still acting like a teenager. I fished a quarter out of my purse and went to the box on the wall, only to find tampons were all sold out.
I'm a little tampon-shy since one went AWOL recently. Well, not AWOL. It wasn't missing in action, I just ... forgot about it. Thankfully after two days it said, "Get me outta here," and I was all, "How did you get in there?" Late night half-asleep visits to the bathroom can make you lose track.
ANY way, I opted for a pad since I didn't want to trek unprotected to another bathroom. This is what I got for my quarter:
GARDS. Not Guards. GAAAAAARDS.
"Typo!" I thought. Gary's theory is that it's a deliberate legal misspelling, like "Cheez."