I took a selfie with Gary at the ball park. I looked at it the next day as I was scanning through the photos.
"Ew," I thought. "Sunken eyes. Brow lines. Eyes are clear, that's good. No visible wattle. Crazy hair, but just too dark in general. Gary looks good. Still, not sharing that one."
Then I flipped to the previous photo, the one I did not know even existed, because I accidentally took it when I changed the phone's photo feature from normal to reversed/selfie mode.
I must have taken it when the the phone was in my lap, and I was looking down at it. Just for a moment, put your body in that position. Now, look upon the monstrousity ....
My self image includes everything from the top of my crazy head, past my nose, my snaggly smile, my chin, and then MY GOD WHEN DID MY WATTLE GET EATEN BY ANOTHER WATTLE? That's like a muti-chin pile-up there!
I have never in my life taken a photo this bad. I thought about that photo all day. I realized:
1. This is how babies see me when I sit them in my lap. No wonder they start crying.
2. I look like those movie parodies starring the thumbs.
3. I'll never get whiplash since I have a built-in airbag under my jaw.
I know my actual appearance is somewhere between the view of my scalp and the view of my wattle, so I decided to take a self-portrait in the one mirror I look in everyday.
I realize now that my bathroom has very generous lighting, and MY GOD my hands are huge!
I like your looks.
Posted by: Hattie | October 08, 2014 at 11:37 PM
Heh. That's why no woman should ever be "on top" after 50 unless the room is totally dark. That second image is what the man is looking up at.
Posted by: ~~Silk | October 12, 2014 at 01:30 PM
Actually I kind of like the first one. It looks happy.
Posted by: ~~Silk | October 12, 2014 at 01:31 PM
Hattie. - you know, I've never liked my looks, and I'm kind of happy now. I've id been proud of my looks and lost them, that would be sad, but I've never liked my looks anyway so I don't miss them now that they're gone.
~~silk - oh, I have always been very aware of being on top. But frankly, he can focus on my chest or my chin, I'm sure chest wins.
Posted by: Thequeen | October 15, 2014 at 06:08 PM