Me, nesting in the guest bed, because Gary's Delicate Back has sent me there.
Gary suddenly appears at the foot of the bed.
Gary: Hey!
Me: What's up?
Gary: I just had an epiphany!
Me: What's that?
Gary: It's like a Eureka -
Me: I know what an epiphany is. What was your epiphany?
Gary: My body's been trying to tell me for years. I don't know if if I've ever mentioned it, but I have a recurring dream. It's the No Pants dream.
Me: Sure, like the naked dream. That dream means -
Gary: I was afraid it was an Alzheimer's dream, but now I know what it means and it's going to solve all of my back problems. (Gary pauses so to give me the chance to say how curious I am to hear about this.)
Me: (silent)
Gary (conspiratorial whisper): My body is telling me I'm getting chilled and that's why my back is going out.
Me: (raises eyebrow)
Gary: I'm gettiong a cold in my back and that's why my back hurts more when I wake up.
Me: I know you use that phrase all the time but you can't really catch a cold in your back.
Gary: That's what muscles do when they get chilled, they cramp up.
Me: So ... do you plan to tell the back doctor this when you get an appointment? Because he's been telling people to lose weight and walk more.
Gary: Look, doctors don't know everything. I know more than a doctor about me, and how I feel, and what works for me.I am the expert on me.
Me: Seriously?
Gary: Yes.
Me: So you're going to do a scientific study? With controls?
Gary: No. I just need to start wearing pajamas, and then my back will get better. Do you have any pajamas that will fit me?
Sadly, my oldest pair of pajamas are huge on me. I've had to take to tying the pants elastic to the top shirt button because otherwise I walk myself out of them when I climb the basement stairs.
Gary did indeed sleep in the bottoms last night and reported the experiment was a success.
He needs these: http://www.pajamacity.com/category.aspx?zcid=152
Posted by: magpie | October 28, 2013 at 07:13 PM
Flannel sheets.
Posted by: ~~Silk | October 29, 2013 at 11:35 AM
My eh-housemate has the dinosaur ones. She LOVES them.
Personally, I like satin pajamas. Easy rolling over in satin pajamas.
Posted by: Tami | October 29, 2013 at 03:00 PM
I'm with Gary. Cold weather is hell on the body.
Posted by: Hattie | October 29, 2013 at 03:06 PM
We use an over the matteress electric pad. When Santa met me I used one and he did not. When he beded me and shared my heated pad he said it changed dramatically how he felt in the morning- for the much better.
Posted by: Zayrina | October 30, 2013 at 09:39 AM
Magpie - You know, I had adult footies when I was in my late teens and the pressure that bears on the toes wears them out in months.
~~Silk - I mentioned he's under a comforter but he says he kicks it off unconsiously.
Tami - Mom was a big fan on the satin for that very reason.
Hattie - We have an air-conditioning conflict then between my hot flashes and his chilled back. I guess I can have it warm at night.
Zayrina - interesting. I wonder if we still have our electric blanket somewhere.We could try that out first.
Posted by: TheQueen | October 31, 2013 at 06:08 AM