You may have seen the earlier version of this, which I published (accidentally) from my IPhone. I apologize. I wasn't even trying to type. I would delete it, but the last time that happened you all unearthed the rough draft and shared it in the comments anyway.
I came home today, pushed the garage door opener, and the door did not open. I could see the dog looking out through the sidelight.
Perhaps the three o clock thunderstorm had taken out our power and I would need to dig the hidden key out of the back garden.
I feel comfortable telling you where my key is hidden, because it was not there. At first I blamed the groundhogs, but then I remembered one very energetic security-conscious day when I'd sorted all the keys into envelopes defining what each did and how many there were.
I looked in the back window (the dog was there now) and saw we did have power.
Perhaps the garage door opener battery was dead.
I have no spare batteries buried out back, so I drove to Walmart. My hands were black with mulch. I didn't look clean enough to go to the grocery, so I went to the Walmart and brought the opener in with me.
I'd made plans to buy a screwdriver to unscrew the back, but instead I went to the jewelry counter. The Walmart lady at the jewelry counter was very impressed with my resourcefulness. She even went to get the battery, once we found out the size. 9 Volt. This becomes important.
I took out the old batteries while she took out the new battery, and we simultaneously put our batteries on the counter. I immediately had no idea which was the good battery.
"Taste it with your tongue," she said. "That's how you know if a battery's good."
I was intrigued. I had no idea batteries had a taste! I knew you can make a battery out of a lemon, or a potato, and I know salt is part of chemistry. So, I thought it would taste lemony, or possibly like salty potato chips.
It did not.
I jumped a foot and dropped the battery. She apologized. She used to put batteries on her tongue "all the time" when she was a kid. I don't know, maybe that's why she is now working at Walmart.
Got back to the house. Still no access. Dog still looking through sidelight. I called Gary (who also didn't carry a front door key until tonight), and he was twenty minutes away.
I occupied myself typing on my iPhone (see below). Gary got there. Still no access. Gary came up with Assumption 3.
Garage door is just off the track.
I had no idea you can just push a garage door open a foot if it's off the track. I rolled inside and opened the front door for him.
The dog said, "It was just off the track! I was trying to tell you!"