Well, the nephew has sent out his wedding invitations, and they end with the phrase, "No boxed gifts please."
This was a new one for me, and I was as appalled as anyone. Why not, "Just bring cash!" The horror, the horror.
Gary promptly launched his gift protocol, which is, "I will buy you what I want to buy you and how you feel about it is immaterial to me."
He added, "They better have a gift table there, that's all I'm saying."
I pleasantly said, "Gift tables are tacky too. You are supposed to send gifts to the brides mother's house."
"I have never heard of that! We had a gift table at our wedding."
(A gentle cough.) "Well, I know Mom's relatives and friends all came in empty-handed." And probably the in-laws thought my relatives were stiffing us, I don't know. So easy to judge people with different customs.
That point was made this evening when I did a Google search on "No boxed gifts, please."
What popped up as I typed was, "No boxed gifts please PAKISTANI WEDDING".
Come to find out, I'm the tacky one, and not only because I suggested we bring a goat on a leash instead of a box.
The internet echoes with the distress of Pakistani brideswho have been forced to put this on their invitations for the benefit of dimwit Americans who keep trying to dump Cusinarts on them, instead of cash, which is the traditional and wholly non-tacky Pakistani /Indian gift. In fact, the cash is "often given in amounts ending in '1' for good luck."
So, we'll be doing that. Who knew?
Yet in our culture this is a huge gaffe and really ought to have been taken into consideration by those sending out the invitation. How do they expect others from a different culture to know what it means, by osmosis perhaps? I might not have looked it up as you did and might have, in fact, given them a Cuisinart that was not wrapped. Or a goat on a leash.
Posted by: Zayrina | April 26, 2012 at 03:43 AM
Could you buy your gift at the Dollar Store? Or Dollar General?
Posted by: Becs | April 26, 2012 at 04:23 AM
fascinating. i'm with gary on the "i'll buy what i want to". also, "no boxed gifts" does kind of sound like "gifts that are not in boxes are okay".
are both the nephew and the bride pakistani/indian?
Posted by: magpie | April 26, 2012 at 11:49 AM
So if it's tradition in their culture to give cash why would they have to worry about getting cheap gifts from those in their culture? If they don't register somewhere, I assume they don't need anything. In this case, I'd probably get them a card and include a note that I couldn't think of a gift that didn't come in a box so I donated money to a charity instead. Sorry, it's tacky and greedy to essentially ask for cash.
Posted by: Amy in StL | April 26, 2012 at 01:23 PM
I think we have a right to our customs, which are in this regard not to give cash.
Posted by: Hattie | April 26, 2012 at 01:32 PM
Very thoughtful of you to be curious enough to investigate. I'm sure they'll appreciate your respect.
Posted by: Marcia | April 26, 2012 at 09:03 PM
Daughter and Hercules were pure class. "No gifts, thank you."
Posted by: ~~Silk | April 26, 2012 at 09:07 PM
I'm picturing a table full of unboxed gifts that result in an anti-Jenga stacking game. They could use the wads of cash to fill in gaps as needed.
Posted by: Caroline | April 26, 2012 at 10:16 PM
Zayrina - Well, now that I think of it some more, it only had to be stated to the white people who were attending, and I only know about the three of us (Mr W is not attending, he has home responsibilities). Perhaps she has a lot of white friends. Surely the nephew would know his family was going to give cash anyway, it's all he's wanted for any birthday.
Becs - Do they sell those bags of shredded money at the Dollar store?
Magpie- They average .75 Pakistani. She's 100% and he's half.
Amy in StL - It's tacky and greedy to expect gifts at all, as I understand it. And cash is certainly more practical. And at least they didn't do a "Dollar dance" as I was pressured to do at my wedding.
Hattie - That's my custom, but it is not the S____ way. They give cash if it is family, espcially this branch of the family.
Marcia - They'll have no idea. They were going to get a check and a gift, now it's just a check.
~~Silk - That IS class. Did anyone listen? Gary would have bought them a gift anyway.
Caroline - Well, then they wouldn't do the worst thing I've ever seen at a wedding - opening the gifts.
Posted by: TheQueen | April 29, 2012 at 10:26 AM
Bring them an empty gift bag with a big #1 on it.
Posted by: Friend #8 | April 30, 2012 at 05:01 PM
Friend #8 - There you are. Win!
Posted by: TheQueen | April 30, 2012 at 09:15 PM