My house seemed to be dirtier than ever this week, so while I was outside clipping up a dead shrub, the floor got Scoobaed.
I left the back door open so I could hear if the Scooba made any plaintive "I'm Stuck" sounds, and so the dog could come out.
He was out in the back with me for at least half an hour, until he barked madly at the open door. I couldn't figure why he'd demand we go inside, so I ignored him. Eventually he went in.
Some time in the next half hour I heard the Scooba stop, so I followed Mac inside anyway. Oddly, the Scooba didn't show any message, so I just toted it to the sink for more water.
"Strange. Why is there this mud on the side of ... NO! It smells like - Gross! BAD DOG!"
I looked back where the Scooba had been and saw half of a perfectly formed tootsie roll of dog poo. The other half had been smeared across the room. And, I am afraid, was ingested by my Scooba, which does not have a special 'OH GOD I JUST ATE CRAP" musical tone or screen alert.
The really scary thing was that based on the forensic evidence of poop splatter, the following was NOT the sequence of events:
- Dog comes inside the house with the malicious intent to poop.
- Scooba is just doing its thing.
- Dog poops.
- At some point Scooba randomly hits the poop speed bump.
If that were true, the poop would have rolled, or broken. Instead, it was obvious the poop had not had time to solidify at all before Scooba impact.
My damn dog wanted to move his bowels, saw an opportunity for evil, went inside, positioned and and re-positioned his but in front of the moving Scooba until he was able to lay out a line of poop directly in its immediate path.
So, the yard isn't clean, but the Scooba has had an enema and been put though a few extra passes to purge everything out.
Posted by: Marcia | December 03, 2011 at 11:45 PM
Ewww. (No, autocorrect, not 'ewes'. I'll have none of that ovine stereotyping from you, thanks very much. Pft.)
Nasty dog. At least my old cat doesn't intentionally come back inside in the middle of the night with a dirty bottom just before he sprawls across my pillow. (Though it's as well for him when he does that, that I know the Grim Reaper is only a few steps behind him.)
Posted by: Big Dot | December 04, 2011 at 03:53 AM
Tessa Marie has never done a thing in the house since we got her. I don't know if it is related to breed or size. I had a Pomeranian when I was a kid and she was a spoiled evil little brat and would walk over right in front of us and poop on the carpet. The big dogs I have had never did things like that.
Yuck, poor you.
Posted by: Zayrina | December 04, 2011 at 08:22 AM
I've been on to that little dog since the beginning.
Posted by: Hot Mom | December 04, 2011 at 08:51 AM
Sounds to me like Mac didn't like the Scooba running alone when you weren't there (the barking at the door? Maybe it was too close to the door?), so he tried his best to stop it. Brave little beasty.
Posted by: ~~Silk | December 04, 2011 at 09:31 AM
Marcia - Oh, shush. Your dog wore a diaper.
Big Dot - Eww. I though cats never were dirty.
Zayrina - Big Dogs, big bowels, I guess.
Hot Mom - Were you there at the tea party when he dropped a deuce in the middle of the circle of guests?
~~Silk - No, when he wants to come in he barks at the open door, I slam the door in his face, then he jumps up the step, scratches on the door, then I let him in. He has taken to this new habit. Can't break him of THAT habit.
Posted by: TheQueen | December 05, 2011 at 12:30 AM
Mac going inside to poop on purpose is a bad, bad thing. I don't even know how to begin fixing that, but fix it you *must*.
Did I tell you about the chihuahua that I don't miss? I'd take that dog out back and watch it poop, then run around and smell things, then poop again, then more running and sniffing, then poop *again*, then run back to me for petting, because she'd been such a good girl and pooped outside.
Then we'd go inside, she'd walk to the area rug, circle around, and if I wasn't quick, she'd poop a fourth time on the carpet - like she was saving it up on purpose.
The chihuahua never told me when she needed to go. Sometimes I was able to guess well, is all. I do not miss that dog.
Posted by: Tami | December 05, 2011 at 09:05 AM
Tami - Okay, further proof of the big dog / small dog Formula of Evil.
Posted by: TheQueen | December 05, 2011 at 08:02 PM
Seriously. The Anatolian shepherd has lived in my house for 67 days. The chihuahua would have done its business inside the house about 100 times by now. The shepherd is still at 0. Even when she had a UTI.
Posted by: Tami | December 06, 2011 at 08:06 AM
Tami - Man! But, can she cuddle?
Posted by: TheQueen | December 06, 2011 at 10:58 PM