No, this isn't about government regulation of the securities industry. Or yesterday's Hottie Judge. Here's a better photo for Hattie and fellow rogue judge lovers.
This pose comes right before he winks and cocks his finger guns.
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No, what the government should really regulate is toilet height.
My home commode should be the standard height, like the standard kilogram in France.
If I visit the restroom at, say, Dennys / Bob Evans / IHOP / Cracker Barrel, or at work, the seats are too low for proper cleanup. I want to sit and yet still be able to reach my most nether of nether regions. Too often I sit down, find my knees up by my ears, and find my bottom too far from the ends of my fingertips.
I can't get purchase. It shifts my center of balance. But most probably the lower seat wads up my belly fat so much I can't reach far enough back reaching from the front. And we have already covered the futility of a back reacharound.
Gary first recommended I use the disabled stall toilet, which is higher, and he is right. Of course now if I see any one come out of the disabled stall I'll know why she was in there, unless she's thin.
His next recommendation was that I stand up, magically keep my pants up, double over, and approach things that way, because that's a stable position for someone with balance issues. I can just see the chalk line on the restroom floor.
Or I could lose my belly. But - wait a minute. Pregnant women have bellies. How do they clean up on a shorty commode?
When I went through the disastrous bathroom remodel, I got a tall terlet. Now I nearly fall to the ground when being forced to use a shorty.
Posted by: Becs | November 30, 2011 at 04:10 AM
For me the issue is not toilet height but rather the lack of soap and water. My poo is, well, impervious to toilet paper. A bidet might be the answer. In any case i can never get clean in a public loo.
Rant: we drove to Omaha for Thanksgiving. All across Iowa I had to poo but could not because the rest stop toilet stalls appeared to have been purchased or appropriated from local elementry schools. When I am adjusting pants in preperation for a poo I do not want to be able to make eye contact with the lady in the stall next to me. My back door slams shut under these circumstances. I may write to their governor. : end of rant
Posted by: Zayrina | November 30, 2011 at 09:03 AM
Yes. I agree. The 14 to 15-inch high ones aren't ideal, but that's what I've got at home, and I can live with it. Anything lower than that is very uncomfortable for the average (fat) American. Here at work, if the ONE handicapped stall for my floor is occupied, I need to use the shorty next to it, and I wind up having to push myself up using the back wall. The non-professional should not try that maneuver.
Posted by: Tami | November 30, 2011 at 11:55 AM
Thank you SO much for validating my hatred of short toilets. So very hard on the knees, and challenging for cleanup.
The very thought of those Iowa rest stop stalls makes me constipated. If you are as tall as me, you have to be very, very careful not to look around - you can see down to the next person's knees if your eyes accidentally wander. We should all write the governor.
Maybe these would be helpful?: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Electric_raised_toilet_seat_for_elderly.jpg
It may look like a daunting amount of technology for taking a biff, but if you add a bidet attachement and jetpack, you are set.
Posted by: Mare | December 01, 2011 at 01:56 AM
Becs -mom got a taller toilet too. Easier to stand up.
Zayrina - nightmare. Never traveling there!
Tami - fat, yes, but again how do the pregnant do this? I cant be the only long-waisted fat person unable to reach around.
Mare- Mom needed that thing!
Posted by: Thequeen | December 01, 2011 at 08:14 AM
Yoga!
Posted by: Hattie | December 01, 2011 at 11:49 AM