First, I got out of bed at 8 a.m and did the responsible thing: checked my PT time. Of course, it was at 8 a.m.
I pulled on clothes and yelled at Gary, "GET OUT OF MY WAY! NO TIME TO EVEN BRUSH MY TEETH OR WASH MY FACE."
He was shocked. "You're going to wash your vagina, aren't you?"
"NO TIME!"
"Oh! Ellen! DON'T BE GROSS! Wash your vagina!"
I ran into the bathroom and dragged a wet towel across my crotch.
She said my vagina smelled fine when I got there 15 minutes later.
She began fishing around inside with two fingers. I think the dual finger action is new. I was on my back, and she prodded left, right, and upward toward my belly. Nothing hurt.
Then she prodded ... downward. "Ow!" Then she spread her two fingers as far apart as possible and gave me an episiotomy. I have been very brave with the pain up to this point, but this made me squawk. Payback for being fifteen minutes late? Who knows?
Even with the anal / vaginal trauma my base number was 2. I kept holding my breath but I couldn't get steady at 1. I think the scale starts at 0.
The sad news is I can no longer go up to 10, just 9. More sad news: I have to do 30 extra kegels a day, to improve my coordination. Aftre a lifetime of squeeze, let go - now I have to sqeeze, let go halfway, hold it, then let go all the way. Soon I'll have three clench settings I can use. Off, low, high.
The really good news? I choked last night and only a tiny spot of pee came out.
I don't believe anyone, other than an OB/GYN has ever referred to my vagina, much less asked me if I washed it. For this, O Lord, we are thankful.
Posted by: Becs | September 17, 2011 at 06:54 PM
Becs - I am a little peeved that all of my OB gyns have asked if sex is painful, and no one said, well let's look into fixing that.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 17, 2011 at 11:27 PM
Wait - your doctor was asking if sex was painful, and you were saying "yes", and NO ONE DID ANYTHING? I hate to tell you this, but they were mean, mean doctors. Find yet another one. One who doesn't SUCK.
Posted by: Tami | September 19, 2011 at 09:20 AM
Tami - well, I did always respond with "it only hurts for the first few minutes, then it's fine." I'm sure they all felt it was my ob-gyn's job to treat that. I am a little peeved my ob-gyn keeps telling me to relax when it must be evident those muscles can't relax.
What gets me now is that I have explained to a variety of specialists that this incontinence issue only happens when I choke. No one has wondered why I keep choking.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 20, 2011 at 12:02 AM
...I just figured that the choking was because of the MS. You know, because it's muscles, and all. If you're telling me that you're choking because you haven't figured out how to eat safely yet at your age, I'm going to drive to Missouri and smack you.
Posted by: Tami | September 20, 2011 at 02:08 PM
Tami - well, that's my concern too. But one neurologist said if I can drink five gulps of water in a row my nerves and muscles are fine. And I can. And I eat safely, it's the drinking that gets me.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 20, 2011 at 11:21 PM
In that case, I suspect that you're choking because you're distracted. You seem distractable.
Posted by: Tami | September 21, 2011 at 09:55 AM
Tami - What? What are we talking about here?
Posted by: TheQueen | September 21, 2011 at 11:39 PM