Perhaps These Techniques Are Used In Advanced Physical Therapy

I am so damned sick of my Pelvic Floor Muscles. I never want to do another Kegel. I hope someone tested Dr. Kegel's pelvic floor strength when he was alive. Digitally. Up the bum. And I hope they did myofascial release on him too. (No. Not really. I worship him.)

The thing is, I am supposed to clench then relax. Except for one fleeting sensation that my crotch was about to burp, I can't tell I'm relaxed. 

Today it occurred to me that wine is supposed to relax that area. Perhaps if I have some wine I'll know what I'm aiming for. I googled that.

A little googling is a dangerous thing. Why drink wine when you can use ... Valium Vaginal Suppositories! You poke a little capsule up your vagina and I suppose your vagina just splays out all relaxed. Of course, I'm sure it relaxes all of you, and the vaginal suppository touch is just there as a mind game. Or, perhaps it does just relax ones pelvis. (How do it know?)

For the Hard Cases there is electrical stimulation. A quote from a doctor:

I would like to tell you about some therapy that is adjunctive to biofeedback – electrical stimulation. Through the same probe, electrical energy can be disseminated to the muscles. This is a very low amount of electrical stimulation. There are some patients, however, who are overly sensitive in this area, and a patient may get worse before they get better. This is common.

 

I think I'm going with the wine, thank you.

A nice wine, because I found out in my reading that the specific name for my pelvic problems is "High-tone pelvic floor muscle dysfunction."

"So, boy, don't you saddle yourself to a high-tone woman.
She'll cut up your heart like an' old credit card,
When the fun and the money runs out.
I've never seen an uptown, well-read thoroughbred,
High-tone woman sink as low as you."

- George Strait
High Tone Woman

Comments

[Big Dot]

The question is, are you pursing your lips (on your face) when you do the exercises? Dead giveaway, apparently.

[Hattie]

This is a lot of information.

[Brenda]

Maybe watching this video will help you relax your pelvic floor...

http://unicornbooty.com/2011/09/anderson-cooper-gets-naked-tan-for-new-show/

I'm just sayin'

[Zayrina]

Is it helping? I want to know if PT could help me tighten things up since I always pee myself when I sneeze anymore. Seriously.

[Caroline]

Please tell me this post has nothing to do with why you invited me to your house.

[Big Dot]

(Did she ask you to bring wine, Caroline? Be afraid...)

[TheQueen]

Big Dot - Oh, no. I count on my fingers though, up to five three times through.
Hattie - But I was restrained! I didn't even tell you about The Chair. ( http://www.exmi-fit.com/neocontrol.php )
Brenda - Yes! I'm so glad you linked that. I like the white skin with the white hair. It's like a very subtle linen and porcelain table setting.
Zayrina - We won't know if the relaxation is in my imagination until tomorrow morning. But I think it's working.
Caroline - Nope. I'll even give you a special preview of my risotto for dinner. You can use my oven to bake brownies.
Big Dot - No! No wine. She might want it once she's here.

[Tami]

Your exercises come with a Bauhaus chair?

[TheQueen]

Tami - my first search hit was the same device next to a shabby used chair. It looked sketchy, so I kept searching.