A New Reality Show

Gary noticed earlier this month that all posts seem to be about my health. I admit he is right. So, now for something completely different (and not at all about superficial vein thrombosis, a condition so inconsequential Wikipedia doesn't cover it).

Recently, someone at work confessed she had some meat in her freezer that needed to be made into soup. She felt the meat had been in the freezer so long that it wasn't full frontal meat quality. It wasn't even good enough to be tarted up in a casserole. It was only good enough to be made into soup.

From there, the lunch crowd decided HGTV needed to create a reality show in which chefs come to your house, and they are challenged to make a meal only using the stuff jammed in your freezer. For example, in my freezer right now I have three pints of Ben and Jerry's, six thin boneless pork chops, frozen green beans, and peaches. So, the chef would have to take the B&J, melt it down into chocolate and cream, add some spice from the spice cabinet to overwhelms the chocolate, then simmer the pork chops in that. Then the rest would go into a delightful green bean /peach chutney that would be spooned on the side. It would be followed by a dozen chocolate cupcakes.

And the name would be "Freezer Burn." Right there. There's the money.

Comments

[wyo]

I'd watch that!

[elisabeth]

OMG- I would so watch this! (You know, if I had a cable, but still!) Two thumbs up and one Internets.

[Zayrina]

I thought there was a show like that. I swear I am not making it up. Gotta go google now.

[Zayrina]

Website rather than a show. Myfridgefood.com. Glad I am not completely crazy.

[Tami]

Fascinating!
My freezer's kind of crazy. I don't think I have any frozen veggies. I know I have 4 frozen dinners, a box of girl scout cookies (for Lewis Black), a roll of sugar cookie dough, instant yeast, sorbet, an individually wrapped salmon filet, a package of turkey burgers, a package of boneless/skinless chicken thighs, naan bread... Ooh - cherries! I have a lot of stuff in there!

[magpie]

Genius.
Do you do something special with the protective ice?

[Elsa]

I would KILL at this. One of my closest friends lets me do this when I come visit (although we add the pantry and fridge into the game; I call it Kitchen Roulette), and my mother lovvvvvves it with I do this. Last time at Mom's, I turned frozen fish fillets, prefab mashed potatoes, and several sad little bits of left-over produce (none of them adding up to a whole serving) into:

- spicy flounder meuniere: filets in a light flour crust scented with chili and curry, browned in butter and olive oil, plated atop;
- potato and parsnip cakes: leftover potatoes mixed with steamed smashed parsnips and scallions, pan-seared to a dark, crispy brown;
- topped with a saffron pan sauce: I deglazed the flour-and-butter in the fish pan with white wine and added saffron for a deep, fragrant note, then poured it over the fish;
- a medley of vegetables, including haricots verts (just the tiniest garden green beans Mom didn't bother to cook sooner), sauteed red pepper, broccoli, and summer squash, topped with toasted almond slivers (found in a tiny crumbled-up packet in the freezer).

It. Was. AMAZING.

[becs]

Elsa - Come to my house. Your wisdom is desperately needed.

[Thequeen]

Wyo - I could host it but not play. Clearly the masterchefs need to be tami and Elsa.
Elisabeth-click the link from zayrina. Go internets.
Zayrina-I need to click that link. It sounds right up my alley. I can't right now, food is making me sick.
Tami-that is an overstocked freezer.
Magpie-um...a cleansing sorbet?
Elsa- what is your mom doing with all those scraps of good food? All I have in my pantry is barley.
Becs-same here, Elsa

[Tami]

My freezer has that much stuff in it, and it's produce season, which means that all the veggies are fresh, and on the fridge side!

[TheQueen]

Tami - I have asparagus that was once fresh. Now it is withered.

(Oh, Zayrina - I must say, that website told me I could make tortillas or eat fried eggs. It did not recommend a fried egg burrito.)

[Elsa]

I hope that didn't come off like bragging. Like any other nutty life skill, it's a trade-off.

Once when I made a crazy-good pantry dinner for some friends I was visiting, the wife's face kinda crumpled and she said, "I can't do that."

I replied, "Okay, but YOU'RE A BIG-SHOT LAWYER. I can't do anything you can do! We've spent our time learning different things."

[Thequeen]

Elsa - do not apologize for being an artist!