Not our actual ants. These are stock-brokerin' TeddyJ Republican ants from work.
We are again infested with ants in the kitchen. This has been going on for two months now. First were the tiny tiny fast ants.
We discussed how best to kill the ants. I have only seen the ants destroyed with the wonderful Terra-X. The ants gather around the tasty spot of arsenic and sugar, snarf it down, take it back to the nest and feed it to their children. Ant genocide.
Here is Gary's complaint with Terra-X.
"The ants! They gather around it and you can see them eating the poison! And then they take it back to the nest and feed it to their children!" THAT'S THE POINT ANT GENOCIDE DIE ANTS DIE. Gary feels this isn't sporting.
For a few weeks he crushed the tiny ants individually. Then he mentioned ants to his mother and she says that spraying vinegar on the door thresholds keeps the ants out. (This is per Gary's unreliable report. She could have said "borax, "or "Terra-X works great!" or Gary might have confused the word "vinegar" with the word "ant poison.")
He came home and loaded up a spray bottle with the first vinegar he found: raspberry vinegar from a long gone salad.
Good news: when we were spraying the counter with Fantastik to remove the faint raspberry stain, Gary found that Fantastik kills ants as well as vinegar does.
Of course, this is a daily activity. I wake up and smell the raspberry vinegar and I remember my days as an IHOP waitress, when we used vinegar to clean the raspberry - blueberry - blackberry syrups off the tables. Nauseating.
I think in Gary's heart he loves the ants. He talks to them. If he wakes up and sees them swarming he bellows "FEAR ME" and pretends they scatter.
And now the teeny ants have now grown into full-sized black ants. "Just as easy to kill!" Gary says happily. Next step: he'll probably breed spiders to kill the ants. Or, my god, buy an anteater. And name the anteater and feed it cones of food.
Spunky's letting herself go these days, I see.
Tell Gary just because the ants are shiny, doesn't mean they're clean. Poison 'em.
Posted by: Big Dot | August 23, 2011 at 12:18 AM
Uh I should imagine the ants love being served the sugary raspberry dressing. PS bigger ants does not mean little ants grown up but instead implies a new species has been engaged by the scent of raspberry dressing. Call the Orkin man. It's time for a professional.
Posted by: Zayrina | August 23, 2011 at 05:56 AM
Raid ant traps work just fine. Put them where you see ants coming in. See if you can't hide them from Gary. Also, buy some white vinegar, for goodness sake. Raspberry vinegar, as Zayrina points out, is too delicious to deter anything.
Posted by: Tami | August 23, 2011 at 08:50 AM
On the plus side, ants discourage roaches and other bugs by efficiently removing all tiny scraps that might attract roaches. And other bugs. Think of them as free maid service.
Posted by: ~~Silk | August 23, 2011 at 08:13 PM
Our neighborhood is a giant ant farm. All we can do is keep them under control.
Posted by: Hattie | August 24, 2011 at 01:53 PM
This is yet another job for Avon Skin So Soft. When I had a ground floor apartment I had horrible ants. I sprayed that stuff all over the entry way and problem solved.
Also, the kids and I totally jammed to "The Ants Go Marching" in the minivan this weekend. We sat in the parking lot of Sherwin Williams to finish the song, dum, dum, dum!
Posted by: Caroline | August 24, 2011 at 08:29 PM
Would you like some Brown Recluse spiders? I could save some of the live ones from the glue boards for you.
Posted by: Marcia | August 24, 2011 at 10:03 PM
Big Dot - Damn. Spunky knew she looked bad but she hoped no one would notice. Now she feels like she's been in a tabloid.
Zayrina - I am not like the weak-will Marcia whp requires professionals to kill the insects. I crush them with my bare hands.
Tami- I did buy plain white vinegar, and even better Gary thinks he knows where they're getting in.
~~Silk - I told Gary that, and he scoffed, Roaches don't care if the ants leave them food. Roaches eat each other if they're hungry.
Hattie - Giant ants? GIANT ants? And they farm them?
Caroline - Jam to Dave Mathews "Ants Marching" instead. http://www.amazon.com/Ants-Marching/dp/B0022W4IXY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314248167&sr=8-1
Marcia - No. I prefer my suburb free of deadly spiders. Good luck, by the way, on your most recent attempt to kill them all.
Posted by: TheQueen | August 25, 2011 at 12:06 AM