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April 09, 2011



I am laughing so incredibly hard right now :D


But for the grace of God there go I and Santa.

We have both gotten to the point with these sudden urges that we are contemplating wearing depends when we go out. Breakfast is a particular culprit, doubtless all the fat.


It was funnier when you told it, pausing before adding an even worse detail than the last.

Seriously, y'all, I think Marcia and I laughed for 30 minutes straight during this lunch.

Big Dot

That's the last time I ever appropriate abandoned Tupperware containers. Even if they're empty.


Oh. My. God.

This story was SO worth the wait! I feel so bad for Gary, but he was definitely right. It's fantastic blogfodder!


Bowel-ing Alley had me laughing hysterically. And POOP jeans!!!! So funny.
Bless Gary's heart for allowing you to share. It just makes ya'll more lovable when you share these TMI filled stories.
I'm never stepping foot inside a Cracker Barrel again, lest I suffer a similar fate!!! (I've had moments of my own, but I'm not sharing the details!)


Now I remember why I'm divorced. All in all, it doesn't seem so bad.


Oh dear. I am certain that my husband would divorce me if I ever posted something like this. Gary is a saint. Even if...


I must say breathing was rather difficult for half the lunch hour and quite some time afterward. Gary's a good sport, which is why we love him.


Leprrkan - You must have been in a similar situation!
Zayrina - I think Depends are for smaller issues. But, maybe they are like Poise pads: light, medium, heavy flow.
Caroline - And that's why I call you heartless cows.
Big Dot - yes! This one was a very distinctive red one, so watch out for that, but that probably holds for all containers.
Faythe - Surely Ryan had pooped himself? Share.
Kristie - I am sure we will never go to a Cracker Barrel again. Instead we will probably take to shaking our fist at it when we pass.
Becs - Well, yes, you have to put up with their shit.
Magpie - I am astonished he volunteered the release on this! Really, I'd never had posted this, in fact I refused to put it in writing just for Marcia's use.
Mershy - He is a good sport. Though I would have been happy enough to have just shared with you girls.


The only time I know of where Ryan pooped himself was before my time with him. He was in his early twenties, he'd been out drinking a lot with his buddies that night and had the foresight to know he'd be a mess in the morning, so as soon as he got home he got naked, put himself in the bathtub/shower and did all his puking/pooping/passing out in there (his brother found him there the next morning). Since he didn't have any pants on and didn't make a mess that needed to be cleaned up (aside from the tub, but it all went down the drain), I don't know if this actually counts. Your call.


Faythe - I does have a disappointing air of self-control. Did he clean it up himself? Because then it isn't humilating at all.


I pooped by the mailbox once.


Every time I come and read something I always think, "Best.post.ever." and it's true...they're all greeeeat! This one was especially hilarious. Tell Gary that they sell little rolls of to-go toilet paper in the travel section at Target and maybe he needs some...just fyi ;) hahaha!


Yep, he did clean his own mess up.


Hattie - Yes, but did you clean it up? Or did you just pretend it wasn't there?
Autumn- Wow - to go TP? I might need that. Everyone needs that.
Faythe - Well, then it doesn't count. Tell him to try again.

Debbie A.

This post has me coming of lurkdom to say THANK YOU for such a great belly laugh!! The laughing and tears started when he whispered "poop" for the first time and they continued well after he asked "Are these my POOP jeans?"!! What a great story and the worst (or best, depending on your perspective) part is, I can see this happening to my husband and I in the near future. Thanks for forging a path for us!


Debbie - (Hi, Debbie!) I am sorry, but it will happen. And you must unlurk again to tell us about it. Your husband doesnt have to know.

I remember the days I didnt think this skit was funny:

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