No one should be surprised I have a modest collection of hats.
It is a modest collection of tasteful hats, which should surprise you. It surprised me when I went through my hat collection, searching for a hat grand enough for the Kentucky Derby. Specifically, grand enough for the brief moment I will be on TV, because somehow I scored row A, on the rail, section 125, right past the last turn, just where Secretariat made a break for it.
So here are my hats.
(Before you ask, it is a latex glove mold.)
Hats, in order of combined size and taste.
Black eyebrow hat
Wedding Cake Hat
Sad Sloppy Hat
Formidable Nanny Hat
Faded Crumpled Hat
Sun Avoidance Hat
Handmade Hat was my first hat, a plain navy hat from the semester I wore only blue and navy. Years later I had to up its game so I could wear it to a tea party, so I added the boa and the birds.
I wore Wedding Cake Hat to many weddings. Tea Hat accompanied me to tea at the Ritz in London. Since I am not a French Country farm girl, I never really found a good use for French Hat. Formidable Nanny Hat got the most use, especially when I discovered salespeople at Plaza Frontenac sought me out when I wore it.
Not a single hat is appropriate for Derby Day. So, just as I did with my wedding dress, I can take the time spent shopping and just design and make what I want.
There was a day I wouldn't have to consider the shape of my face, but now I do. I shall bring back the wimple, no question about that.
And of course a huge brim, if I'm going to be walking next to these ladies:
I LOVE that this woman spilled something on her boob:
Obviously some birds and a few ostrich feathers.
And we love the stuff piled up under the hat:
Though that almost looks tasteful next to the Gold Standard of Horse Race hats:
So you see while none of my hats will do.