I can tell you about South Beach from the corner of 8th and Ocean up to 17th and Collins.
From the South, northward.
8th and Ocean
Many of the cruisers stayed at the Colony Hotel, which is close to a remarkable bar called Wet Willies. It serves my type of liquor. All Slushies, all the time.
I had a mix of Chocolate Thunder and Monkey Shines, so it had a nice chocolate / banana flavor. You couldn't even taste the alcohol, which was there, I assure you.
After, we had dinner at the fabled News Cafe. Crabcakes: on a scale of 1 (my crabcakes) to 10 (Almonds in Clayton crabcake cruller) they were a 5. The philly sandwich was very nice ... but fabled? Why?
11th and Ocean
Our hotel, the Hotel Victor, has a jellyfish theme, including jellyfish lamps and a jellyfish tank.
Our room (ooh, fancy mirror shot - check out the jellyfish lamp in the reflection):
The bathroom was particularly cunning. First, it had bath salts in a small vial, and we tried five times but could never get the proper focus on a photo of us trying to snort it. Next, the toilet was behind a door with a porthole, but the rest of the bathroom was open. There were curtains you could draw, but forget that. Last, the over-the-sink mirror was on a set of rails, so you could slide it across the wall to where you wanted it.
I asked that we not have a pool view, because Gary would have felt pervy waking up to bikini beauties (no, he WOULD). I didn't realize this forces you to have an ocean view.
We walked there and I put my toes in the ocean. Gary felt pervy fully dressed on the beach (he DID) so we left.
17th and Collins
UrbanSpoon recommended a place called Casa Tua for lunch, and as soon as we passed 16th and Collins the streets began to empty. Gary decided that meant it was a high-crime area (you may remember Le Chat episode in France), so things were tense. Ended up UrbanSpoon was wrong, Casa Tua is not a lunch place, so I collapsed by the beachfront (safe) while Gary went and got me some butterscotch. Then we backtracked to ...
16th and Collins
We ate lunch at the fabled Pizza Bar. High ratings on UrbanSpoon and Google. Have people never had pizza in South Beach? It was steamed pizza. They cooked it fresh, but they could have cooked it more. Dampest pizza I've ever had.
Hear me complain about the food? The best food was unquestionably the butterscotch (Werther's) and the paella (at the hotel - see below). That will be the last paella I eat, because it was pricey. The waiter listed it when he told us about the specials! It was for two, but it was $103.00. I KNOW. I love the extra three bucks,as if to prove they line itemized it. I am mentally maxed out. That, plus the four cocktails and the required gratuity we didn't notice and the forty dollar tip Gary threw on top of that total - gah. I'm back to eating at Bob Evan's and liking it.
Yikes. Life is strange, is it not. Especially after a few drinks. In a strange and expensive place.
Be careful, my dear. Remember who you are and what you stand for in the eyes of your people.
Posted by: Hattie | February 15, 2011 at 02:46 AM
If you spend another evening in Miami (which could totally happen), I highly recommend Balan's in the Lincoln Road pedestrian mall. The lobster spaghetti was incredible.
Posted by: Tami | February 15, 2011 at 01:18 PM
You were in Dexter country! Creepy, maybe. But he always talks about the great Cuban food on Calle Ocho. Me gusta la cucina de Cuba.
Posted by: Becs | February 15, 2011 at 05:49 PM
Oh Wet Willies. I got hammered at the Wet Willies in Savannah, GA when I was on tour (dumb kid - I was 22). Chocolate Thunder, baby. Whew.
Posted by: Erin G. | February 15, 2011 at 07:34 PM
Hattie - I thought I stood for excess and overspending.
Tami - that is dangerously close to Casa Tua.
Becs - We had NO cuban food. Or giant shrimp.
Erin G. - It would be easy to get hammered there. Drunk slushies? Set them up.
Posted by: TheQueen | February 15, 2011 at 10:12 PM
We had Wet Willies in Charleston, SC but this was during the mini-bottle laws so they had to add the liquor by the glass. When I went on business to Memphis we had them there and I had forgotten how potent they can be! I got the one in the collectible cup that lists all the locations.
Posted by: Amy in StL | February 16, 2011 at 05:18 PM
Road trip to Columbia? Tropical Liqueurs is the exact same thing.
Posted by: Caroline | February 16, 2011 at 07:27 PM
Amyin StL - I saw a news report about those mini-bottle laws! That was absurd. Glad thats over.
Caroline - Miami had another place like it just a few blocks away. We need one in Westport.
Posted by: TheQueen | February 16, 2011 at 11:31 PM