The Itch

I've been itching to go on vacation. Anderson Cooper's blue eyes plead for me to come see him in New Orleans. Vegas calls me. And God bless Gary, he's been making noises like Paris wouldn't kill him. He even said he was getting excited about going.

Of course, we have to use the Gary decision-making method to pick the Paris hotel, and if you recall the Honda Fit decision, that involves looking at every negative and seeing if you can talk yourself out of every option. So,with our list of finalist hotels I went to Trip Advisor, blew past pages of rave reviews, muttering "Great" "love it," "A gem" until I hit the first complaint. So now our list looks like this:

Hilton Arc de Triomphe. $XXX USD. Too far from cheese.
Hôtel San Régis. $XXX USD. Attitude.
Park Hyatt Paris-Vendôme. $X,XXX USD(!) Waitress hardly looked at me while serving my afternoon champagne.
Hôtel Le Bristol. $XXX USD. Recent homicide.

You'll notice Gary is off his chain hotel kick, thank God, especially since the Marriot was $XXX USD, Witnessed two beatings outside.

Gary now wants something directly on the Champs Elysee, (not the Marriot De La Recent Beatings) and that made it difficult. He needed to see how far half a block off the Champs is. So we got to Google maps and used the street level feature, where you double-click to scan through photos of the street at eye-level view. We "drove" from the Louvre to the Arc de Triomphe. Saw a lot of Smart Cars! And now we know how to dress.

Sadly, we discovered that just about half an hour ago and it it past bedtime now. But tomorrow, we drive through the streets of Paris in search of whores and cheese.

 

Comments

[Becs]

Does Gary realize the Champs Elysee is a main drag? That it gets tons of loud traffic? Would you stay in NYC directly on Times Square? Also, does he understand that it's pretty much a mall? You walk down the street and see the Gap and Sephora.

[magpie]

I love the methodology. And yeah, no hotel that is too far from cheese. That's just wrong.

[allison]

Hell yeah I'd stay in NYC in Times Square. It's Paris -- you want a nice quiet place to nap? (don't listen to me, I'm a terrible traveller. But yeah, cheese proximity is key).

[TravelSkite]

The only time I stayed in Paris, the room had a swing-out bidet. Cheese fan that I am, this was no contest.

[TheQueen]

Becs - We wandered the Google streets again tonight. I think he's happy we aren't at the Hotel Crillion (costs MORE than the George V!). Everyone on the street does look like a tourist. I'm thinking maybe we just go in jeans and sneakers and ignore the scorn.
Magpie - We saw no cheese today, but we found the Eiffel Tower.
Allison - I think if we were to stay on Times Square, Times Square would contact the hotel and ask us to stop snoring so loudly.
Big Dot - Now I am concerned, because we also love cheese and see the benefit of a bidet. All rooms have bidets, do they not?

[Becs]

The Crillon! "Rebecca Ryan stays there. Everybody knows she does." And it's right next door to the American Embassy so they won't have to go searching all over Paris to drag you in. (BTW, "American Dreamer" is one of my favorite movies ever.)

[TheQueen]

Becs - On the other hand, I have only just now read the plot summary on Wikipedia. It sounds like I can't let Gary see it, what with the hit and runs and kidnappings. More bad Paris PR.

[Becs]

Q - What a horrible review. Spoiler city. And badly written. Takes absolutely all the charm out of it. Sigh.

[TravelSkite]

Gary's worried about the crime in Paris? Look, let's just get a little perspective here: you live in SAINT LOUIS.

[Tami]

Does St. Louis have a lot of crime? We east-coasters tend to think of everything in the middle as "safe" unless it's Chicago or Detroit.

Of course, I used to live on a street where I heard gun shots every night and we used to watch the grade school kids do drug deals in the cemetery through the kitchen window, so maybe everything else *is* safe, compared to that.

[Caroline]

Tami - The city has a lot of crime. It is also only about 15% of the metro area, due to strange 1800s politics. Technically St. Louis competes with Detroit every year for the highest crimes per capita but when you factor in the suburbs it's a pretty average place.

[TheQueen]

Becs - I'll have to check it ot next time it's on. TiVo is set to watch for it.
Big Dot - I was encourage to see my country isn't number one. And Caroline's right about the city vs the metro area.
Tami- I don't think Ive ever seen a drug deal, or else I just haven;t recognized it.
Caroline - damn city making us look bad. Well, that and the second amendment.

[Caroline]

Ohhhh, I've witnessed what I'm pretty sure was a drug deal. It was on MetroLink. I was with a co-worker. The next night we rode different trains and her train had a window shot out. That was about the end of my MetroLink commuting.

I also had a couple of kids get on at Union Station one time and walk up and down the cars trying to sell brand new merchandise they had just acquired.

Still nothing compares to the RTA ride on Cleveland where a homeless guy seemed to be attempting suicide in front of me. All I could think was "Shit. I'm gonna be on the news."

[TravelSkite]

(Everybody - do we need more detail from Caroline? I say yes!)

[TheQueen]

Caroline /Big Dot - I went to Facebook and demanded Caroline fill us in. Of course, it is 11 at night here, I imagine she's sleeping.

[Caroline]

It was my first of many business trips to Cleveland. Someone told me I could take the RTA (subway) directly from the airport to the hotel where I was staying. The hotel was attached to some kind of mall and the stop had an escalator directly into the mall. I decided to do that instead of paying for a cab.

The problem was that my flight got in at about 10:30 pm, which may not be the ideal time to use public transportation. The cars were the kind you can walk between so there are doors that open and slight gaps between them you must step across.

We rode and rode and it seemed we would never reach my stop. I was in about the second row of my car. A homeless man made his way to the front with two trash bags full of possessions. He put them to the side, opened the door, and laid down on his stomach. He then leaned his head down in the gap between the cars. He would look up and around, then stick his head down. I had horrible images of scrubbing brain matter off my laptop case.

Thankfully we reached my stop before his head exploded. I walked through the mall to the Ritz Carlton (talk about a study in contrasts!). The next morning I walked through the mall to my office tower for meetings. Then my co-workers insisted we take the RTA back to the airport rather than grab a cab at rush hour. I decided at least I would have company. We caught the RTA inside the mall and got off inside the airport. I never once set foot outside and managed to not end up on the news.

I never took the RTA again on my dozen + Cleveland trips.